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Tag Archives: positive thinking

Thought Someone, Right Now, Needed to Hear This


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“To the world you may be one person.

“But to one person you may be the world.”

I remember when I’ve been in the throws of my Specter, and consumed with such hopelessness and misery I believed no one else endured. That depression demon who is currently being held at bay in his cage of Lexapro and Abilify, but can attack at random times with a sucker punch to the kidney, leaving me without the breath for life. It’s at those times that one person can change your life. They are there. You just have to find them, reach out to them, and hold onto them. They will be there. You mean the world to them.

If you’re wearing the other pair of shoes and know of someone who needs to be reached out to. Use this post as an excuse to do so. You may save someone’s life.

 
1 Comment

Posted by on 06/04/2016 in Depression, Quotes

 

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There’s This At Work…


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My daughter helped me design this board at work.

I was prejudiced.

I prejudged.

I didn’t think that an office of  400+ onsite/offsite employees would support this.

I didn’t think a firm of 10,000+ employees worldwide would support this.

No, endorse this. Embrace this with such open arms.

This month of #mentalhealthawareness.

A good friend of mine (who I’m talking into guest blogging in the near future) organized the activities that make up this month’s Mental Health Awareness Campaign at our firm’s local office.

When she first started out, her goal was to raise $400 by having folks donate money towards the senior leader they wanted to “get pied” for charity. The leader with the most votes/money towards their name will get pied, while the leader with the least “votes” will get to do the “pie-ing”.

She surpassed that goal and employees have donated a little more than $600.00. She had to set a higher goal of $1000.00.

I work at a really wonderful firm.

I am fortunate.

I am blessed.

And I am thankful.

 

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5 Things I Learned from “The King’s Speech” | [List]


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IMAGE SOURCE:  http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2947187712/tt1504320?ref_=tt_ov_i

Several years ago, my pastor showed a segment of this powerful movie for one of his sermons on Relationship. I finally was able to sit down with my 10-year old daughter and watch it.

Here are my five takeaways and how they apply to my life.

  1. Affliction is above no one. It can touch anyone at any time in their lives. We are not subhuman because we are afflicted with mental illness, or physical manifestations. We are survivors. We fight a struggle others can only read about or imagine. You may be a poor farmer, a blue-collar factory worker, a white-collar executive, or a member of royalty. Affliction does not discriminate against wealth, skin color, or socioeconomic status. It may not be a result of their choices. And if we don’t suffer from Affliction, this should teach the rest of us empathy.
  2. Your affliction may not control you. You may be the one controlling it. It may be the manifestation of a deeper struggle. You may actually be giving it control because it puts comfort to something that is so discomforting to acknowledge, live with, or speak about.
  3. Family may not be your support network. Your family may in fact, be the source of your affliction. I have friends where family happens to be their harshest judge or most vehement opposition – largely the cause of their trauma and particular circumstance. We would hope that family would be our staunchest champions, but sadly in some cases, they are the source of our trauma, often caused at a younger age or a recent schism.
  4. A father’s relationship is pivotal. Single dad to an innocent, beautiful girl. My actions are pivotal to her development. This is a bearing built into my moral compass. Do I fall short so often? I sure do. I am perfectly imperfect. Remembering how much I affect her development is always the bell in the fog that ropes me back to the harbor. Hopefully before I exact anything that damages her sails, free will, self-esteem, and mental health.
  5. Your strongest champion may not have letters after their name. Their door may not have Ph.D inscribed on it. They may not be published. Or knighted. Or of the same social class. They may not be anyone noteworthy in your life. But they took their time to help you, or to understand you. We call them friends.

What are your thoughts? Have you seen the movie? Is there anything you would like to add on this topic? I’d love to dialogue about it with you in the Comments section.

 

 

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Five Life Principles I’ve Revisited, Thanks To Rockband


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Hi folks. I’m Chris.

And for about 12 years, playing drums has been a significant part of my life.

I played throughout middle and high school and went on to play drums in the Marine Band for several years. My parents paid so that I could attend private lessons (thank you momma and dad) while in high school.

In lieu of living in apartment, I’ve had to come to settle with playing drums in a video game to whet my percussive appetite.

When I sat down to play “Critical Acclaim” by Avenged Sevenfold the other day, I just sucked. Trying to look for a teachable moment, I came up with these five things that I can relate to my life on a daily basis.

1.   Recalibrate

Sometimes my drums are “off” when I play.

Really. They are.

They don’t play when I hit them, or more accurately, they have a lag.

Sometimes my SMART TV or some quirky electronic bug seems to decide on an incorrect default for my drums. This can result in a delay between when I hit the pad and when the sound is heard.

This results in “missed” notes.

This results in my score going down.

Which results in me failing out of a song.

Through a process of troubleshooting, I usually find that I need to recalibrate my drums to my TV. This little factor has a HUGE impact on how well I perform for the stadium of overzealous fans crammed into my beach bungalow’s living room.

In life, I sometimes get off track. My actions don’t align with my beliefs. Sometimes my words can come out all jacked up, potentially ruining someone’s day. My temper flares. My mood swings. My irritability soars. I get overstimulated and need to take a step back.

It’s at times like this that I need to take time to get my recalibration on, baby.

I need to realign my thoughts, actions, and words with my core beliefs.

I need to reorient my moral compass and get my rudder straight.

Sometimes we all get off track.

Better get yo’self back on track.

Better get yo’self some recalibration.

2.   Practice

I wish I could play all the songs on Expert and get five stars. The fans deserve it.

Unfortunately, I have a long ways to go.

Fortunately, Rockband has a practice mode.

After I humbled myself the other day to Critical Acclaim, I switched over to Practice Mode and played the song a few times at different speeds. I had to break sections down that were killing me. I had to divide and conquer.

Now I can play the song on Expert.

After playing it about 20 times in the past two days, I finally achieved five stars on “Hard”.

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Just to be sure it wasn’t a fluke, I played it again to be positive I could get five stars on the same difficulty level.

Practice paid off.

When I took private lessons, I didn’t like to practice. In fact, a lot of the time I would practice the 30 minutes prior to my lesson, or even in the car on the way to my lesson!

Outside of Rockband, I can at times, suck at communicating with my girlfriend. – I fail “our song”. If you ask her, she knows the hours where I have a metabolic dip that happens to be exacerbated by my sleep apea – times where I’m about as worthless at communicating as a hibernating grizzly.

Being an introvert also puts me at a level where I feel socially inept when it comes to talking to others.

I’m also a “stonewaller” – I reach a point in our arguments where I just withdraw and don’t respond or even talk at all. My exasperation and patience has jumped out the window.

I’ve been holding myself accountable to make these practice areas in our relationship. Meaning, when I’m in a good mood, I’ll try to initiate conversations more. Or when I’m irritable, trying to push myself to say, “listen babe, I want to talk about this, but am just too tired. Can we hit this again in a couple hours or at another time?”

A lot of the time I’m not able to do it and so I have to start all over from the beginning of our song.

We all have things in our life that we have to practice at whether we are already good at what we do, or pushing to be better at something.

There’s things at which we all fail.

Better get yo’self better atcho song.

Better get yo’self some practice time.

3.   Overdoing It

When you’re playing Rockband, you have to play what is on screen, NOT what you think the song sounds like.

You need to play what you see, not what you think.

You may have the drum chart to Your Betrayal, or Diary of Jane memorized, but that ain’t what’s on screen if you’re playing on Easy.

A lot of times I’ll throw in a bass drum kick with a cymbal smash because that’s how I learned to play drums and that’s the way the song sounds. But that’s not was the screen is showing.

Sometimes in my relationships, I assume things. I think about something too hard. I incorrectly interpret the tone of a text or read into something that was never intended to mean how I took it.

I need to step back and take things slower. I need to relax a little and take things a little more lightly. I need to be slower in my responses and give them time to cook so I don’t hasten out a response of anger and resentment.

We all have an area in which we overdo it.

 Better get yo’self to chill out.

Better get yo’self to slow down and simplify.

4.   Baby Steps

Compared to a teenager, it took me an insane amount of time to get to the level in that song that I did. I had to start on Medium then work myself up to Hard. Then I had to work myself up from three starts to five stars.

I didn’t just sit down and play and BAM! I’m at my goal. I had to take things level by level. I had to use baby steps.

We all want things too quickly don’t we?

We all have a sense of video game satisfaction and entitlement where we may want to get to the end sooner rather than later. Where we try to find an easy way around. Where we want to punch in a cheat code instead of unlocking the puzzles in the game.

We all want to skip the trials and journeys.

 Better give yo’self some time to git to that goal.

Better get yo’self to take it one step at a time.

5.   Time Signature

Probably THE MOST challenging thing for me when playing Rockband is that there is no time signature.

Time signatures to the musician are what signs and lines on the road are for the driver. They tell you how much each thing is worth on the sheet of music. Without it, it’s…well, it’s Rockband.

Rockband has a minimal amount of guidance and sometimes I have to guess at where the notes are to be played. I understand why this is, it just makes things harder for the musician in me.

My life is like that. I have several guides that I need in my life to keep me between the lines on the road of life –

♦  The Bible – this is kind of my oil in the engine and user guide. When I do devotions in the morning and take time to read my Bible, Jesus Calling, and In Touch, I’m filled with peace and hope for the day. Life still happens, but when I have a driver cut in front of me, or given a situation in which I have the opportunity to exercise patience and kindness rather than the opposite, I’m able to come back to what I’ve read earlier that day at my kitchen table. The Bible is my anchor point, magnetic north, and grounding point. It’s also the lines, the speed limit and other signs that keep me grounded and directed in life, helping me stay on the road while I travel.

♦  My friends and family – These are my sounding boards as well as how I receive feedback to my “performance”. If I have ideas that aren’t so great or am about to make a bad decision, these people help me see that. They may give me alternatives or sound advice. They may advise against what I am about to do or support me with reasons why they think I should make a certain decision. They let me know if I’ve earned a 1-star performance or a 5-star performance and what I need to do to move up to the top 5% on the leaderboard.

♦  My conscience/the Holy Spirit – Sometimes I want to respond to my ex-wife’s email and texts with anger and vengeance. Sometimes I get irritable with my girlfriend. I always have a choice on how I respond. When I respond negatively, I get a little pinging in my brain telling me that’s not how I should be doing things – that’s the Holy Spirit. You may call it your conscience but whatever it is, we each get that little morale alarm advising against what we’re about to do, or a little victory bell of confirmation letting us know that we did the right thing.

I screw it up a lot, but I can’t blame it on not having a “time signature”.

We all have a time signature that gives us structure to our lives.

 Better find out what drives yo’ life.

Better get yo’self familiar with yo’ time signature.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post, friend. What are your thoughts? I’d love to talk with you in the Comments section.  

 

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Perseverance | [QUOTE]


Image showing lady throwing ashes into the sea with quote saying,

Spreading his ashes.

About a month ago, my girlfriend spread the ashes of a dear childhood friend into the sea…

Shortly after that we got into an argument…

Hours after that she left the above quote on my desk…

…I am blessed by her continued thoughtfulness and selflessness.

“The force of the waves

is in their perseverance.”

– Gila Guri

 

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Sunday Thoughts. [QUOTE]


I like quips and quotes.

…those little one-liners that speak volumes in my life.

I heard this one on K-Love and it struck me to the core.

I wanted to share it with my friends, in the hopes that someone feels moved in some way, and in their own life.

X Chris

Quote saying, "Satan knows our name and calls us by our sin. Jesus knows our sin and calls us by our name."

 

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Strength [SCRIPTURE]


I’ve been feeling pretty weary lately. Felt others could use these verses, too.

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“Brother”, Need to Breathe [VIDEO]



If you’ve been following for awhile, you know that I’m a metal head and love bands like 5FDP, Bullet for My Valentine, Black Veil Brides, etc.

But this song is beautiful. It’s my new song of hope. I pray that it lifts someone up tonight.

🙂 Chris

“Brother”

Ramblers in the wilderness we can’t find what we need
Get a little restless from the searching
Get a little worn down in between
Like a bull chasing the matador is the man left to his own schemes
Everybody needs someone beside em’ shining like a lighthouse from the sea

Brother let me be your shelter
I’ll never leave you all alone
I can be the one you call
When you’re low
Brother let me be your fortress
When the night winds are driving on
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home

Face down in the desert now there’s a cage locked around my heart
I found a way to drop the keys where my failures were
Now my hands can’t reach that far
I ain’t made for a rivalry I could never take the world alone
I know that in my weakness I am strong, but
It’s your love that brings me home

Brother let me be your shelter
I’ll never leave you all alone
I can be the one you call
When you’re low
Brother let me be your fortress
When the night winds are driving on
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home

And when you call and need me near
Sayin’ where’d you go?
Brother I’m right here
And on those days when the sky begins to fall
You’re the blood of my blood
We can get through it all

Brother let me be your shelter
I’ll never leave you all alone
I can be the one you call
When you’re feelin’ low
Brother let me be your fortress
When the night winds are driving on
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home

Brother let me be your shelter
I’ll never leave you all alone
I can be the one you call
When you’re low
Brother let me be your fortress
When the night winds are driving on
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home
Be the one to light the way
Bring you home


 

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Necessary Endings – Do you have one to make? [IMAGE]



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NOTE: These are not my ideas. This intellectual property belongs to Dr. Henry Cloud and his book Necessary Endings.

I’ve just reread Henry Cloud’s book, Necessary Endings. This book was pivotal in my decision to end a toxic relationship – my marriage.

I am proud of the decision? No.

Was it necessary? Absolutely. It had become a toxic relationship.

And no slander to my ex-wife, it was on both of us. It always is.

My Plan

This book was SO profound to me that I decided I am going to summarize a couple chapters of the book over the next few weeks. I am really looking forward to having a dialogue in the Comments section of each post so if you’re game and want a head start, GO GET THE BOOK ALREADY! http://www.amazon.com/Necessary-Endings-Employees-Businesses-Relationships/dp/0061777129

Have you read the book? Please let me know in the comment section below, or click the “thumbs up” icon. Let me know if you’re planning on buying the book, or planning on joining in, in any way. This is going to be really exciting!

I’m going mention the major points of chapters 5 and 6 (at least) since these were the two sections that validated what I was feeling and going through. It will answer questions like-

  • Is there something in my life that needs pruning?
  • Why is “hopelessness” important?
  • How do we decide if a pruning is necessary? Do all things really need to end?

This book was a life changer for me.

It is a staple book on my book shelf. It is thoroughly highlighted and marked up with extra notes.

I hope it impacts your life in a positive way.

Game on!


 

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Patience [Quote]



Faith For Hope_patience_001


 

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Rules for Life – Listening [Quote]



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“Better Days”, Saliva



Another positive message for all of us warriors!

“Forgive yourself
Break the chain and separate
Let it go I’ve had enough
Rise above”

“Better Days”

Take a lesson in pain

From the man who’s seen both sides
I make the best of worst
And it hurts but it gets me by
We’re all alone on this road we travel
And everyday is like an uphill battle
Take a lesson from the man who’s seen it all

Forgive yourself
Break the chain and separate
Let it go I’ve had enough
Rise above

I can’t change what I’ve done
So leave the past where it lays
I’ll get through this
I’ve clinched my fist and I’ll find another way
You know you can’t win them all
You got to play through the rain
You can’t just grasp at every strum
You got to reach for better days

Done time and mind
Tried to hide it all inside
Did the best that could
Even when I couldn’t get it right
No one sees the scars when it’s over
I turn the page of the rage so there’s closure
Take a lesson from the man who’s seen it all

Forgive yourself
Break the chain and separate
Let it go I’ve had enough
Rise above

I can’t change what I’ve done
So leave the past where it lays
I’ll get through this
I’ve clinched my fist and I’ll find another way
You know you can’t win them all
You got to play through the rain
You can’t just grasp at every strum
You got to reach for better days

Forgive yourself
Break the chains and separate

I can’t change what I’ve done
So leave the past where it lays
I’ll get through this
I’ve clinched my fist and I’ll find another way
You know you can’t win them all
You got to play through the rain
You can’t just grasp at every strum
You got to reach for better days


 

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“Best I Can”, Queensryche [Video, Lyrics]



This has a positive message – recovery from being broken.

“Best I Can”
A child alone in daddy’s room

The gun was hidden here
No one home to catch me when I fall
A young man now in a private chair
I’ve seen the world through a bitter stare
But my dream is still alive
I’m going to be the best I can

I want to be a busy man
I want to see a change in the future
I’m gonna make the best of what I have
I want to write for a magazine
I’m gonna be the best they’ve ever seen
I know I’ll win if I give it all I can

I won’t let go, gotta make the grade
No, I won’t let it go
To be the best man, the best man that I can

Back street hoop star you’ve got it good
You were the wonder of the crumbling neighborhood
Now taking bids on the next six digit plan
Showed me that my will survived
The tragedy that came into my life
giving me hope and the new start
that I have

I won’t let go, gotta make the grade
No, I won’t let it go
To be the best man, the best man that I can

Step by step I dream the plan
From my chair to walking man
This constant dream is on my mind
Chase the light I see ahead
Luminate the path I tread
I live to be the best I can

Now I’m moving forward
And I’m never looking back
Straight ahead, focused on the big attack
On a roll and I’m never slowing down
I won’t be torn between
The man in the chair
And the man that’s in my dream
I’m going to melt the two men into one

I won’t let go, gotta make the grade I set
No, I won’t let it go
To be the best man,
the best man that I can


 

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In What Season of Life Are You?



Seasons. We all have them in our lives. Just like the earth has seasons.

A Spring.

A Summer.

A Fall.

A Winter.

You’re in a season right now. And I’m in a season right now. In our lives, we are either planting, growing, harvesting, or lying fallow. 

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Think about your:

♦  Relationships

♦  Jobs

♦  Hobbies

♦  Interests

Maybe you’re in a “Spring” and starting that new job?

Or maybe you’ve moved to the “Summer” of a relationship that’s been growing and blossoming into something beautiful for some time now?

Maybe you’ve arrived into the “Fall” of a hobby? A time where you’ve reaped the rewards of your investments and you’re able to rest for a season and reflect on lessons learned.

It helps to understand the season you are in.

Spring – You’re busy planning and planting. Deciding what crops to grow and how you’ll arrange them in your fields. Which ones will you keep to feed your family? Which ones will you sell at the market to make a profit?

In life, we plan if we want things to be effective, hold value, and be successful. We don’t rush into buying a house just because we like the color. We research the area that surrounds it. We look at what other houses in the area have sold for. We look at what schools our kids will be going to.


In what area of life are you planning and planting right now? What will success look like? What will happen in the summer as a result of your efforts now?


Read the rest of this entry »

 

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10 Things I’ll Try to Remember When I’m Overwhelmed. [List]



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  1. Love – I will not forget to offer love to those who are overwhelmed. I will remember my roots.
  2. Joy – I may not be feeling it now. But I will be thankful when this valley is over and I am able to experience happiness.
  3. Peace – I will rest during this time and try to be easy on my heart, soul, and mind.
  4. Patience – Somehow, this will make me stronger. With patience and perseverance I will take it upon myself to learn the lesson of my struggle.
  5. Kindness – I will help others when they are feeling overwhelmed. Just as I have been helped.
  6. Goodness – I will make an effort to act nicely even though I may have things hitting me from every direction.
  7. Faith – I will trust that the Lord has a purpose and a plan for this trial. No matter how crazy it seems.
  8. Gentleness – Just because I am overwhelmed does not mean I have to make others suffer. I will strive to be gentle throughout the tempest.
  9. Grace – I will accept it of myself. I’m perfectly imperfect, and that’s perfectly okay.
  10. Self-control – I will try to walk my talk. It is up to me to practice the previous nine promises.

 
9 Comments

Posted by on 04/20/2015 in Depression, Hope

 

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CAUTION [Image]



Ha! Yup. That’s the truth. Laughter is good. Thank you despair.com for ALWAYS making me chuckle in the midst of some rough stuff.

cautiondemotivatorSOURCE: http://www.despair.com/caution.html

 
2 Comments

Posted by on 04/20/2015 in Depression, Humor

 

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Overwhelmed



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Yeah, I’m feeling it. I’m feeling the burn baby.

Burned out. Overwhelmed. Weighed down.

See that picture above? Just ready to disappear with your next mouse scroll down? That paints it perfectly.

Traveling through a dark valley of semi-hopelessness littered with feelings of despair.

A quagmire. Something like a cement cesspool that slowly solidifies with each step I make. It seems like each step is half the stride of the previous. So even though I’m moving forward, I will never reach the place I want or need to be.

How often do you feel like this?

I’ve been struggling to bring myself to write positive posts for my readers. No matter how hard I try, it ain’t happening. A month ago I was posting several times a day.

Now I’m finding it hard to get the motivation up to write at all. Even though I know there is a reader out there struggling with real thoughts of brokenness, pain, hurt, and their reality.

I don’t like to concentrate on the negatives of my depression. Of dealing with my Specter. I want this page to be real for my readers, but I also want it to provide hope. With a balance of reality I want it to bring my readers up, not down.

So this is where I’m going to let my vulnerability speak. This is one of those times when my talk is going to walk.

I’m going to write through this.

I’m going to forgive myself.

I’m going to offer myself grace, just like the Lord has shown me His Grace.

I’m going to remind myself that I’m perfectly imperfect, and that’s perfectly okay.

Thank you for bearing with me and for your support through this rough stuff we all experience for a time.

Maybe now would be a good time for us to all reach out to someone we haven’t said hi to in a while. Someone whom we know is hurting and needs another to reach out and show they care.

Can we do that before our day is out?

I’m going to challenge myself to do that. If you have the strength, will you join me? Your time may be another day and that is perfectly okay. But do it when you find the strength. Someone’s life could be depending on your call.

-Chris

 

 

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Sustainment [Quote]


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The Haunting of Weekends.

The Haunting of Weekends.

Hi there. My name is Chris. I am a survivor of suicide and live with clinical depression. I often mention Specter who is the personification of my depression.  Thank you for taking the time to read this post and to be with me on my journey…our journey.

Question: How have you learned to survive through your weekends?

Specter has a cousin and her name is Weekend. This twice removed cousin hasn’t visited for years but I remember the horror just the same. I had just separated in my marriage, was living in a new apartment with just my business clothes, laptop, and a sleeping bag.

The Monday-through-Thursday ramping up of worry.

The Friday night dread of falling asleep and waking up crying on Saturday.

The Saturday morning realization of waking up at 5:00…4:30…4:00…3:00 am with anxiety, loneliness, fear, hurt, and desolation.

Full of gloom.

No hope.

All doom.

Saturday morning through Sunday afternoon She stayed ever present. Morning was my crucible; Weekend’s disfigured child that accompanied Her…was attached to Her. eye_through_keyhole_003Like some 1943ish sinister Siamese twin experiment.  I was awake with a cocaine-like charged
pulse hours ahead of the rest of the outside world.  Just Weekend. Morning. And Me. Read the rest of this entry »

 
8 Comments

Posted by on 03/01/2015 in Weekends

 

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Rules for Life – Compliments

Rules for Life – Compliments

Rules_for_Life_compliments

 

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Rules for Life – Mistakes [Quote]

Rules for Life – Mistakes [Quote]

Rules for Life - Mistakes

 

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Rules for Life – Actions


actions_speak_louder_than_words_001

 

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Making Music v. Making Noise [Quote]

Making Music v. Making Noise [Quote]

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Posted by on 02/26/2015 in Quotes

 

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Rules for Life – Love

Rules for Life – Love

Rules for Life - Love

 

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Rules for Life – Grace

Rules for Life – Grace

Rules for Life - Grace

 

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Rules for Life – Fresh Starts


Rule_for_Life_fresh starts

 

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Rules for Life – Reacting

Rules for Life – Reacting

Rules_for_Life_reacting

 

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Rules for Life – Trust


Rule_for_Life_Trust

 

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Manliness.


today I will be a better man

SOURCE: http://www.primermagazine.com/2012/live/today-i-will-be-a-man-one-reddit-users-manifesto-for-being-a-better-man

 

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Rules for life – Encouragement

Rules for life – Encouragement

encourage

 

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Checkmate

Checkmate

chess_005

SOURCE: http://pixabay.com/static/uploads/photo/2014/04/05/11/40/chess-316658_640.jpg

 
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Posted by on 02/20/2015 in Quotes

 

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Gallery

I am perfectly imperfect…

I am perfectly imperfect…

perfectly_imperfect

 
 

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Image

Thoughts on important relationships.

Thoughts on important relationships.

I do honestly believe…

Befi_time

SOURCE: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File%3ABefi_time.jpg

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