Tag Archives: encouragement

Today I Created a Fb Page…


So I took the plunge and published a Facebook page, “Surviving the Specter”. I want to reach more people so they know they are not alone in their struggles…that there are others out there going through the same things.

My WP blogs will be pushed out through this page as well as at my Twitter handle – #sts91414. I figured my handle would be easy to remember since it’s the first letter of each of the words in my blog’s title, as well as the date I attempted suicide.

I plan on publishing the story of the night I took my life next month, September, which is Suicide Awareness Month in the U.S. If you haven’t read it may you could stop by and give it a read and leave some thoughts.

Thank you friends, for your support through words, comments, calls, and email subscriptions, and Follows. I appreciate it more than you know.


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Posted by on 08/14/2016 in Facebook


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This Depression Thing

The whole issue with this depression thing – it has sucked all life out of me like some soul harvester.

This past year has been one of the most relentless struggles I’ve had to endure. It gets worse each day I aimlessly trudge through my daily dosage of hours like a walker. And I don’t see an end in sight.

I feel like I stare at an hourglass in front of me. Glossy-eyed and lost faced, watching each grain of sand tumble through the bottleneck , building up the mountain in the chamber below that represents time passed.

The sand falls in slow motion.

Maybe you can relate?

shades_01I don’t see the sunshine. I’ve had this gray film over my life. It is a sunny, bright, 82º outside my Norfolk, VA apartment. I can’t see it. I don’t feel the warmth in my soul. I keep all the blinds shut. It’s not the kind of depression where you can simply open the blinds and the gray is gone. That doesn’t work. Our friends will suggest it…to open the shades and let the sunshine in. But those who don’t live with it can’t ever understand that just doesn’t work. It’s a fog of war. It stays.It permeates the skin and sinks down to the core. It’s a wave that has to be ridden.

I’ve been riding the crashing part of the barrel for months.

I have no drive. It’s really hard to continue when you feel so hopelessly apathetic. I get so sick of looking at the hourglass and longing for sleep. If I feel inspired to do something I change to something else before I finish what I started. So many things left unfinished. I wander back and forth in my apartment sometimes feeling that I’m going crazy. Most people that don’t live with this affliction would quickly suggest to exercise. All the other articles and advice out there scream that, but how can you bring yourself to that if you can’t even walk across the street to the beach on such an ideal day?

I’m numb and I don’t feel happiness. I don’t feel the happiness that other people feel when it’s sunny out. I should. I want to feel it. I want to feel “normal”. I want the chemicals in my body to react like that. I don’t want to be numb anymore. Catatonic. Zombie-ish. I’m trying to blog it out because journaling is supposed to be the best form of therapy for depression. It hardly is for me. It’s not cathartic. I’ve had an impossible time dragging myself to type this post and hardly feel any form of relief or healing from doing so. Getting a buzz from drinking (exactly the opposite of what I need to be doing, I know) used to give me a tinge of happiness. Now, that doesn’t even work. I’ve lost all interest in all things: writing, drinking, walking on the beach, reading, drawing, sex, photography, being a dad, friendships. I’ve thought a lot about dying. Not being suicidal, but just as a quiet way to end the mind numbing hourglass watching.Quote_gray_001

I fail at relationship. I isolate. I drive people away. I drive myself away from people. I isolate myself from those who love and care about me. It makes me drive those away who love me. 

I’ve lost a foothold in my faith. I used to find peace when I read the Word and prayed early in the morning. That has been sucked away too. I don’t have the same happiness that I see on other believers’ faces, like when I used to go to church. I want that simple happiness of just waking up and being happy. I know they have their own problems, and sometimes that smile is just plastered on, but I just want to feel the Spirit move me to happiness.

*    *     *

How does your depression make you feel?

Maybe all this strikes a cord. If it does, please remember: you certainly are not alone.




Posted by on 08/04/2016 in Depression


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When Do We Decide to Commit Suicide? | [REBLOG]

When Do We Decide to Commit Suicide? | [REBLOG]

I’ve been Tweeting with a friend whose site is based on raising suicide awareness, especially for those who need answers to “why?”. I wrote this some time ago and am hoping it helps a little in the way of explaining my personal experience.

surviving the specter

NOTE: Dear reader, this post talks openly about suicide. If this is a trigger, please do not read it at this time. Thank you. May peace come to you in your valley.

I attempted suicide on 9/14/14.

I had been on the noose for about 45 minutes.

I am fortunate. I had friends that saved me.

I hope that my words may provide some closure for those that may still be seeking answers. A small bit of understanding to answer the question, “Why?” My family and friends are fortunate because I am able to answer those questions for. I am fortunate to be alive and explain it to them.



“It’s the easy way out.”Psh! Friend if you’re that deep, it’s the ONLY way out.

“He just wanted attention.” I wanted peace.

“He was so selfish.” I wasn’t thinking of anybody.

So when does it all become too much to…

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Thought Someone, Right Now, Needed to Hear This


“To the world you may be one person.

“But to one person you may be the world.”

I remember when I’ve been in the throws of my Specter, and consumed with such hopelessness and misery I believed no one else endured. That depression demon who is currently being held at bay in his cage of Lexapro and Abilify, but can attack at random times with a sucker punch to the kidney, leaving me without the breath for life. It’s at those times that one person can change your life. They are there. You just have to find them, reach out to them, and hold onto them. They will be there. You mean the world to them.

If you’re wearing the other pair of shoes and know of someone who needs to be reached out to. Use this post as an excuse to do so. You may save someone’s life.

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Posted by on 06/04/2016 in Depression, Quotes


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There’s This At Work…


My daughter helped me design this board at work.

I was prejudiced.

I prejudged.

I didn’t think that an office of  400+ onsite/offsite employees would support this.

I didn’t think a firm of 10,000+ employees worldwide would support this.

No, endorse this. Embrace this with such open arms.

This month of #mentalhealthawareness.

A good friend of mine (who I’m talking into guest blogging in the near future) organized the activities that make up this month’s Mental Health Awareness Campaign at our firm’s local office.

When she first started out, her goal was to raise $400 by having folks donate money towards the senior leader they wanted to “get pied” for charity. The leader with the most votes/money towards their name will get pied, while the leader with the least “votes” will get to do the “pie-ing”.

She surpassed that goal and employees have donated a little more than $600.00. She had to set a higher goal of $1000.00.

I work at a really wonderful firm.

I am fortunate.

I am blessed.

And I am thankful.


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5 Things I Learned from “The King’s Speech” | [List]



Several years ago, my pastor showed a segment of this powerful movie for one of his sermons on Relationship. I finally was able to sit down with my 10-year old daughter and watch it.

Here are my five takeaways and how they apply to my life.

  1. Affliction is above no one. It can touch anyone at any time in their lives. We are not subhuman because we are afflicted with mental illness, or physical manifestations. We are survivors. We fight a struggle others can only read about or imagine. You may be a poor farmer, a blue-collar factory worker, a white-collar executive, or a member of royalty. Affliction does not discriminate against wealth, skin color, or socioeconomic status. It may not be a result of their choices. And if we don’t suffer from Affliction, this should teach the rest of us empathy.
  2. Your affliction may not control you. You may be the one controlling it. It may be the manifestation of a deeper struggle. You may actually be giving it control because it puts comfort to something that is so discomforting to acknowledge, live with, or speak about.
  3. Family may not be your support network. Your family may in fact, be the source of your affliction. I have friends where family happens to be their harshest judge or most vehement opposition – largely the cause of their trauma and particular circumstance. We would hope that family would be our staunchest champions, but sadly in some cases, they are the source of our trauma, often caused at a younger age or a recent schism.
  4. A father’s relationship is pivotal. Single dad to an innocent, beautiful girl. My actions are pivotal to her development. This is a bearing built into my moral compass. Do I fall short so often? I sure do. I am perfectly imperfect. Remembering how much I affect her development is always the bell in the fog that ropes me back to the harbor. Hopefully before I exact anything that damages her sails, free will, self-esteem, and mental health.
  5. Your strongest champion may not have letters after their name. Their door may not have Ph.D inscribed on it. They may not be published. Or knighted. Or of the same social class. They may not be anyone noteworthy in your life. But they took their time to help you, or to understand you. We call them friends.

What are your thoughts? Have you seen the movie? Is there anything you would like to add on this topic? I’d love to dialogue about it with you in the Comments section.



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wh atma y me an s2 m3

wh atma y me an s2 m3






Being mentally ill with depression means that people may not always get me. I’ve come to accept that.

I’ve also come to accept that it’s okay.

A lot of the times I don’t even get myself.



I guess “understand” would be a more accurate word.

It’s like trying to explain to somebody what May means to me, except it comes out sounding like this post’s title looks.

They may never understand what it feels like. And I’m happy that they never will. I would wish this on no one.

There’s so many things I’ve never understood about myself for years, and have only begun to within the past 5-10 years of my life.

A list of un-understandables in my life has been:

I don’t understand why I feel sluggish all the time. 

I don’t understand why laughing feels so forced.

I don’t understand why I want to be alone all the time.

I don’t understand why I don’t want to do things.

I don’t understand why I am always so tired.

I don’t understand why I see grey when it’s brightly sunny outside.

I don’t understand why at 42, I can still sleep until 1:30 on a Saturday afternoon.

I don’t understand why I set my alarm for 5:00 am and hit it until 6:00. 

I don’t understand why I think of suicide

I don’t understand why I pray to God to take me home in my sleep.

Over the years I have come to understand why though.


A severe, deep-seated depression.

My Specter.

Picture 5


NOTE: This image is the original idea of Cass and her site at the above link. Check it out and give it a Like!


So for me, the new significance of May is about raising awareness of mental health. And in my case, severe depression and suicide. It’s about taking a chance, stepping out on a scary ledge, and talking about my mental condition to others.

Lessons Learned: Some Things I’ve Learned from My Depression

I would hope that you would take these things and hold them in your heart. Don’t forget them. Remind yourself of them. And learn from your mental condition.

A list of understandables in my life is:

  1. I have a condition, not an illness. I am not sub-human. I am not sick. I am an extraordinarily strong person because I survive through things other people can’t imagine having to deal with. I live my life a little differently than others because I live with affliction.
  2. I am perfectly imperfect, and that’s perfectly okay. I’ve learned to forgive myself and accept myself. I have a hard time believing the phrase, “I don’t let my mental condition define who I am.” I know what people mean, but I think in the end, depression has set some life parameters that I have to (or choose to) live by. If I don’t abide by those…rules, I start to hear Specter’s rusty cage hinges creak and I feel him scratching on the walls of my soul.
  3. What I feel is valid. I am not crazy. I may be a little broken. You may be a little bruised. But don’t you dare let anyone tell you you’re crazy. Don’t you dare let them make you feel that way. You. Are. Not. Crazy. Real talk.
  4. Only I will take care of myself. I must take my meds. Daily. I must eat healthy. I must exercise. Meh. I’m working on the last two. Have
  5. Strive to be empathetic and kind. You know why. You have struggles other people don’t know about. So do others. I remember a time my Lexapro had run out and I couldn’t afford a refill. I had been off it for about four days and I could feel the dizziness set in from withdrawals. Then the bottom fell out. Specter’s claws were dug so deep into my shoulders I could feel them carving at the bones. Someone put their hand on my shoulder and sat with me. I was in tears. I was choking my words out in a dark chair in a dim corner. He made a call to get me my medicine. That’s why.
  6. Be a servant when you can. Help others when they’re down. People have helped me when I’ve not deserved it. Free of charge. Pay it forward.
  7. Exude grace. Strive to give others the benefit of the doubt.
  8. Have grace on yourself. Learn to accept grace yourself. Be gentle on yourself. We beat ourselves up so much each day. Allow yourself forgiveness. See #2.
  9. People do understand – surround yourself with those people. There may not be too many. But you know what? That’s just about the right number anyways. Find your devout warrior supporters and cling to them. Share yourself with them. Open yourself up to them. It is empowering. It is healing.
  10. My God loves me. Me and God. Ahh, yes. For such a lifetime I’ve bashed myself for not measuring up. Engorging bucket fulls of self criticism, guilt, and shame for never feeling like I measured up. Never earning my dad’s approval, or my Father’s. All. Those. Years. And I got it wrong. His scars are enough to cover my soul. His Grace is the way to my healing. His forgiveness is the magnetic north to my moral compass. SOso many times I fail. Flat on my face. He’s always there to pick me up and hug me with a gentle, warm smile.

Now…Let’s take back our lives and make this our new fight song! This one’s for you Niki.

“Cry Thunder”

Time after time as we march side by side
Through the valleys of evil and the torturing souls,
Night after night, for the glory we fight,
In the kingdom of madness and the tales from the old

Death by our hands, for the higher command,
As the darkness surrounds us hear the cries as they fall
Fire burning steel and the tyrants will kneel
Hearts burning stronger with the power of the sword

Set sail for the glory,
Pray for the master of war (pray for the master of war)
Sunlight will fall by the wastelands,
Endless rise for the heroes before

Cry thunder!
Sword in his hand,
Titans of justice, fearless we stand
Cry thunder!
Strong in command
Blessed by the union, freedom of man

Reckoning day, for the demons we slay,
With the force of a dragon we will conquer them all!
Chaos still reigns devastation and flames
For the ultimate glory when the legacy calls

March on
Through the hellfire
Blazing for the darkness beyond (blazing for the darkness beyond)
Nightmare return of the thousands
Giving rise to the heroes once more

Cry thunder!
Sword in his hand,
Titans of justice, fearless we stand
Cry thunder!
Strong in command
Blessed by the union, freedom of man


Unholy darkness,
In the eyes of broken dreams,
Outside of the wasted and torn,
A land of tears still remains
Soldiers of destiny calling,
And the fallen will rise up again,
Conquer the forces of evil and fight to the end

Cry thunder!
Sword in his hand,
Titans of justice, fearless we stand
Cry thunder!
Strong in command,
Saviour of nations, freedom of man

Cry thunder!
Sword in his hand,
Warriors defending,
One final stand
Cry thunder!
Strong in command,
Blessed by the union, freedom of man

Blessed by the union of man
Cry thunder!
Yeah yeah



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Me vs. Depression [Featured Blog]

It’s been a good amount of time since I’ve stumbled across a blog I really connected with. A blog where I truly enjoyed reading a lengthier-than-usual post for my short-spanned prefrontal cortex.

If you’re like me and survive with depression, you’ll appreciate J’s candid, real, & honest posts over at “Me vs. Depression”.

I’m always looking forward to the next one! You should peruse his blog and find out why.


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In What Season of Life Are You?

Seasons. We all have them in our lives. Just like the earth has seasons.

A Spring.

A Summer.

A Fall.

A Winter.

You’re in a season right now. And I’m in a season right now. In our lives, we are either planting, growing, harvesting, or lying fallow. 


Think about your:

♦  Relationships

♦  Jobs

♦  Hobbies

♦  Interests

Maybe you’re in a “Spring” and starting that new job?

Or maybe you’ve moved to the “Summer” of a relationship that’s been growing and blossoming into something beautiful for some time now?

Maybe you’ve arrived into the “Fall” of a hobby? A time where you’ve reaped the rewards of your investments and you’re able to rest for a season and reflect on lessons learned.

It helps to understand the season you are in.

Spring – You’re busy planning and planting. Deciding what crops to grow and how you’ll arrange them in your fields. Which ones will you keep to feed your family? Which ones will you sell at the market to make a profit?

In life, we plan if we want things to be effective, hold value, and be successful. We don’t rush into buying a house just because we like the color. We research the area that surrounds it. We look at what other houses in the area have sold for. We look at what schools our kids will be going to.

In what area of life are you planning and planting right now? What will success look like? What will happen in the summer as a result of your efforts now?

Read the rest of this entry »


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Rules for Life – Attitude [Quote]

Rules for Life - Attitude


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Rules for Life – Making Music [Quote]

Rules for Life - music

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Posted by on 04/19/2015 in Quotes


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Rules for Life – Judging [Quote]


Rules for Life - Judging



Posted by on 04/08/2015 in Depression, Suicide


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REPOST: I Thought of You. [Poem]

I posted this about a month ago. For some reason I felt that someone could really use it today. Weekends used to be pure torture for me. I hope this provides a sliver of hope for you my friend.


poem about depression and suicide



Three Reasons Why You Should Put the Razor Blade and Pills Down NOW. [List]


1. Somewhere. Right now. Someone would be crushed to know that you were not in their life anymore.

2. You make someone happy in your life right now. They probably have not told you so or are on the verge of doing so. You have the power to not take their happiness away.

3.  I was in your shoes on 9/14/14. I believe you have the power to push through this. You are stronger than you know.



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Good Friday. Good Thoughts.



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Ten Positive Thoughts About What You’re Feeling [List]


  1. You are a normal human who experiences emotions like others. They may be a little bit more extreme. So what.
  2. Don’t let someone downplay what you are feeling. Ever.
  3. What you are going through is VERY, VERY real. You must tend to it and monitor it.
  4. You can break the chain…of depression. Of suicide. Of cutting. Of drinking. It may be a very real fight. I know my friend, I live with it every day. But you are capable of ending it in your generation.
  5. You can feel better with counseling and medicine.
  6. And exercise.
  7. And the Lord.
  8. Journaling or blogging will also help you in your coping and recovery.
  9. You are a brave and courageous person for living through your Specter. How many people begin and continue their day when they find it as hard as you do? You’re a survivor. Yes, indeed, a hero you beautiful soul.
  10. Surround yourself with those who care for your well being. Cultivate positive relationships. Make necessary endings with toxic relationships. Start pruning today!

May you find peace in the valley which you are currently traveling.



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I Called My Dad Tonight.

I Called My Dad Tonight.

Earlier today I said I was going to call my dad and tell him he was a good dad and that I love him.

I did.

It was powerful. I read him the post I wrote and cried like a baby all the way through. It was needed…for both of us.


2010 – My brother is on the left with sis’ on the right. Dad and I are in the middle.

Before we hung up he said he would like to have a copy of the post.

I attached into to an email after we hung up.

The race


Posted by on 03/25/2015 in Dads


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The Race [Poem]

I enjoy writing and reading poetry. This is a lengthy poem but well worth the time spent to read it.

I used to not be able to read it without crying because of issues with my dad – feeling like I never measured up; always looking for his approval, etc.

Dad was a senior chief in the US Navy. A respectable, honorable man. A man who provided for our family and was faithful to my mom. He took our family camping and ate dinners with us. He brought us to church and cultivated a respect for women in my brother and I.

I guess this post is, in essence, letting go of the childhood resentment I had for my dad. We never really clicked for whatever reason. It’s still kind of a precarious relationship.

I remember my dad’s “depression” and sadness. He was never diagnosed with depression, but I see the manifestations with what I deal with in my own life. I see them more clearly after the research I’ve done into my own condition. I don’t have memories of him smiling or laughing.

Maybe it wasn’t him. Maybe it was my depression that clouded things? Made me feel shut out. Made my life gray. My dad was a good dad. He wasn’t perfect, but he always tried to do what was right…what was honorable. He was human. He was a man.

I remember writing a suicide note when I was in middle school. I had a razor blade on my desk and was going to end my life. My dad walked in and sat on my bed. “What are you doing?” he asked calmly. I told him what I was doing and he asked why. “Because I always let you and mom down” I replied. I don’t remember anything after that but for some reason I always struggled with my low self esteem for years. Yes, even now as a 41 year old man.

Anyways, once I started teaching high school I read this poem to my students on the first day of every school year. For nine years.

I’m not sure what the point of this introduction is but I hope this poem finds a place in your heart like it did mine.

I think I’ll call my dad today and tell him that he was a good dad, and that I love him.

I love you dad.

family-436831_640 Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on 03/25/2015 in Poetry


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Rules for Life – Trying [Quote]


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Posted by on 03/22/2015 in Rules for Life


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I Thought of You [Poetry]

I Thought of You [Poetry]



Posted by on 03/21/2015 in Poetry


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Compassion [Image]

Words and actions develop a real picture.



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Doing These Four [Healthy] Things Helps Me Navigate My Depression.

NOTE TO READER: This post mentions my attempt to take my life. If this is a trigger for you please do not read it. May you find peace through your valley my friend.

What do you do when your depression sets in? Do you cry? Do you write? Do you listen to music, or go on a walk? Over the course of time I’ve realized that I do four things that allow me to navigate my depression in a healthy way.

cropped-10516728_10203449821299797_2348610586882441441_n.jpg Read the rest of this entry »


Posted by on 03/17/2015 in Depression, lists


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On being missed.



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I’m Getting Her PTSD. Pt. 3. [Poem]

How do you relate to the people in your life with PTSD?


This post is part of a series of poems dedicated to my girlfriend. She has PTSD and severe anxiety and you will understand her story with each post. Each time I learn something about the mental conditions she lives with, I add a “part” to the series. Please read Part 1 and Part 2 of her story and the lessons she’s taught me.

The Night Harpies of Terror-

The demons attack, when she’s sleeping at night,

I feel her twitching beside.

Their shredded wings spread, their chipped talons slash,

She always in terror to hide.

She awakens from choking, from a former attack,

That cut off the breath of her life.

And whispered to me to hold her tight,

So I roll over; I do what is right.

She cries silently, under muted sobs,

And doesn’t want me to hear.

Afraid that I’ll yell, or repeat it all,

I don’t blame her, from feeling her fear.

She lives in terror; an over shoulder attack,

That comes whenever it wants.

And I’ve learned to adjust, to help her with this,

She’s taught me to be the man that I must.

She’s grown on me, and taught me her life,

My mouth hangs open in awe.

For I’m getting her condition, her PTSD

I’m beginning to understand it all.

Do you have suggestions for supporting people with PTSD? Will you share them with us?


Posted by on 03/13/2015 in Poetry, PTSD


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You. Matter.

Please put this in your photo album.



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You. Matter.

You. Matter.

Please pin this where you will see it every day.



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You Are Loved. [Image]

Don’t forget it!




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Sustainment [Quote]



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Obstacles [Quote]


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Posted by on 03/09/2015 in Quotes


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I’m Getting Her PTSD. Pt. 2. [Poem]

I’m Getting Her PTSD. Pt. 2. [Poem]

How do you relate to the people in your life with PTSD?


This post is part of a series of poems dedicated to my girlfriend. She has PTSD and severe anxiety and you will understand her story with each post. Each time I learn something about the mental conditions she lives with, I add a “part” to the series. Please read Part 1 and Part 3 of her story and the lessons she’s taught me.

Daggerous Words-

She came at me, in a tone that was harsh,

And I shut down and put up a wall.

I reinforced it with ego, and self centered-ness

I put up my guard, I let the gate fall.

I was angry, insulted, and wounded inside,

Her sticks and her stones had wounded my pride

I lashed back in defensiveness, with a little man’s heart,

I lost my bearing, I fell apart.

I fell short of the man, I needed to be

It wasn’t her, it was the PTSD

The years of bones that were broken and bruised,

The hate, and the lies, and the wrong.

Of kicks and punches, and choking and hate,

Is always present, ne’er gone.

Now she fights for her mind, and own sanity,

And I need to remember her will.

And support her with love, and uncommon valor,

And never say words that are ill.

She’s grown on me, and taught me her life,

My mouth hangs open in awe.

For I’m getting her condition, her PTSD

I’m beginning to understand it all.

Do you have suggestions for supporting people with PTSD? Will you share them with us?


Posted by on 03/08/2015 in Poetry, PTSD


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Sunday Night Laugh

…and cheers to a positive Monday morning. I salute you if you got out of bed and made a day out of it.


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Posted by on 03/08/2015 in Humor


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You. Are. Not. Crazy.

You. Are. Not. Crazy.

NOTE: Some material here discusses suicide. If this is a trigger please do not read it at this time. Thank you, friend.

How many times have you felt crazy, whether people have suggested it or not?

Hi folks. Thank you for visiting and taking your time to read with me. I’d like to start by quoting one of my firsts posts, which describes the events of the night I tried to take my life.

10. You. Are. Not. Crazy. Don’t EVER let someone tell you are crazy. And don’t you DARE believe the lie. What you are going through is VERY, VERY real. Don’t EVER let someone downplay what you may have to deal with on a daily basis. Don’t let them downplay it if you go through it once a year. It is real. It lives with us. It may lurk in the corner or it may not. We realize this. You are human just like everyone else around you. This is not an illness, this is a lifestyle.

I thought I was crazy.



Years. Read the rest of this entry »

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Posted by on 03/08/2015 in Depression


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Weekend Inspiration [Scripture]

Weekend Inspiration [Scripture]

Hi folks. It’s good to have you. If you haven’t already, I invite you to visit my Faith for Hope section of the site. The verses, stories, posts, and quotes have given me hope through my clinical depression, the weekend, and when Specter claws his way out of the shadows. They also provide hope and strength through recovery from my suicide attempt.

I pray for your peace and courage as you walk through your own dark valleys. He is there and will provide for you according to His will.


What verses or quotes help you through YOUR struggles? Please share them with us.

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Weekend Hope

Weekend Hope

Hi folks. Thanks for visiting my Faith for Hope section of the site. It’s good to have you. The verses, stories, posts, and quotes have given me hope through both my clinical depression and the weekend when Specter claws his way out of the shadows. They also provided hope through my recovery from my suicide attempt. I pray for your peace and courage as you walk through your own dark valleys. He is there and will provide for you according to His will.



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Wanted to share our beautiful beach day with you.

Wanted to share our beautiful beach day with you.

Praying that your weekend is a safe and calm one. If you’re having a rough time through your valley, these pictures of sunshine are for your hope my friend.


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Posted by on 03/07/2015 in Weekends


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Strength Through Your Weekend. [Scripture]

Strength Through Your Weekend. [Scripture]

Found this in my journal today. Sending it to all who need strength through one of the hardest times I used to experience – the weekend.



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Rules for Life – Ability [Quote]

Rules for Life – Ability [Quote]

Rules for Life - Ability


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Tonight’s Challenge!

Tonight’s Challenge!

Reach Out

We’ve all made friends and acquaintances here. Someone who experiences the same mental conditions you do. Depression. Anxiety. PTSD. Cutting. Suicidal thoughts.

When is the last time you’ve heard from them? Has it been a while? Have they been off the grid?


I challenge you to reach out to them before the day is over and check on them. Send them a friendly note saying you haven’t heard from them and were wondering how they’ve been. Let them know they are special and if comfortable, that you care for them.

I emailed a fellow blogger because I haven’t heard from her in a few days and I was concerned. No posts on her blog. No Likes. No comments. Just blank space. I attributed it to her being busy with her kids, but she’s not like that. She’s a warrior. Like us all. I missed her wise posts of positivity so I just wanted to check.

She responded back. I was happy to hear from her and know that she was ok.

Who do you need to reach out to TONIGHT?

Would you comment back to let us see how many people’s lives are being touched by your acts of kindness?

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Posted by on 03/02/2015 in Challenge


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Your Suicide Story: Sharing Hope in the Midst of Loss

Your Suicide Story: Sharing Hope in the Midst of Loss.


My friend bkmoore, has a page on her blog that is dedicated to people’s personal stories of suicide. If you have a story, I’m sure she and others would appreciate reading yours.

Here is the text from her page…

“This page is dedicated to bringing suicide out of the darkness and into the light! If you have lost a loved one to suicide, or suffered from depression, this is a chance for us to carry each others’ burdens and share hope. There are no judgments here–I am in the trenches with you. On any given day I struggle with anger, fear, sorrow, and a host of other emotions, as I process through grief.

“But, I also declare the truth over my loss, and open myself to the reality of now being in the category “Survivor of Suicide”.  God is not through with my story and I long to be a witness of hope in the midst of sorrow. I will post discussion prompts, polls, and any kind of information that I deem useful on this page. Feel free to join in at any time and share your experiences.”


Posted by on 03/02/2015 in Featured Blogs


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Rules for Life – Compliments

Rules for Life – Compliments



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It Might Have Been a Great Deal Worse [Poem]

great deal worse

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Posted by on 02/26/2015 in Poetry


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Rules for Life – Fresh Starts

Rule_for_Life_fresh starts


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Rules for Life – Reacting

Rules for Life – Reacting



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Rules for Life – Trust



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Rules for life – Encouragement

Rules for life – Encouragement



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