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Category Archives: Anxiety

If Mental Illnesses Were Monsters, This Is What They’d Look Like | [REBLOG]


Check out these cartoons of mental illnesses created by U.K.-based artist Toby Allen. He decided to draw different mental illnesses as monsters, as a way of helping himself and ultimately others. Check out the article I found on Huffington Post as well as his Real Monsters series.

monsters_001 monsters_002 monsters_003 monsters_004 monsters_005 monsters_006 monsters_007 monsters_008 monsters_009

 

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Hopelessness | [POETRY]


poetry_hopelessness_001

Hopelessness

He felt such hopelessness in life, all he could do was jump.

She felt such disassociation, all she could do was cut.

Reality was harsher, than this living hell,

they lived inside their heads. No one could ever tell.

The night harpies of terror, claw her hair each night

When she pulls the covers up around her, shaking from the fright.

The flashbacks and the memories, of her broken bones

Break her hope and will to live, she wants to just be gone.

Away from all the pain, the hurt, the emptiness.

He tries to run, he tries to end the dread,

of living in a quagmire, he tries to choke it from his head.

Wishing it was just a shell that he could peel away and shed.

See, you’re not alone in this, no you’ll never be.

There’s just too much that’s going on for you to ever see,

that others survive, through the same unending pain.

Come in, we’ll hold you dear, we’ll help you feel again.

 

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Who is Matthew Malin? | [GUEST BLOG]


Today’s guest blogger is Matthew Malin of Confessions. Without taking too much away from his intro below, he and I both survive with depression. Matthew submitted his guest post and since I hadn’t connected with him before, I wanted to peruse his site to get an understanding for his content. Matthew’s site is well laid out and I love that he has his topics broken down into different “Confessions”, which include-

♦  confessions for the hurting, lonely, and confused

♦  confessions on love

♦  confessions on reflection, and 

♦  confessions through poetry

Again, if you haven’t read his short story, A Sheep Named Wolf, give it a read. It’s an excellent moral tale of humankind.

I encourage you to not only read this post and drop him a line in the Comments section, but to visit his site and do the same. You will fall in love with his smooth writing and his music videos that reach in to the core of your heart and pull out the words that you were struggling to speak.

If you’re interested in being a guest blogger on surviving the specter, please check out the tab at the top of my home page and send me an email with your ideas.

And now. Enjoy Matthew’s post!

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Hello to you! My name is Matthew and I am twenty-two years of age. I am a musician, writer, and currently a senior in College studying to be a Pastor/Church-Planter. I have struggled with depression and anxiety for four years now and the aim of my blog is to bring awareness to the subject. I also write daily updates, poetry, and thoughts on life, loneliness, and love. You can find my blog at: mbm1992.wordpress.com


Sticks and stones may break my bones…

It is honestly a baffling manner trying to encourage and/or motivate someone out of depression. I don’t say that out of disrespect towards anyone who is struggling (I, myself, have dealt with this issue on many occasions) but it is the honest truth. The fact is that there are no amount of words that you or I could ever say that would bring someone out of their hopelessness.

It’s just not going to happen.

I have often thought, wondered, and even been asked how one is to cope/help/stir someone who is so lost in their own sorrow. People simply want to know how they can best help their loved one or friend escape from the clutches of their perceived “lostness”. Automatically, one is motivated to speak. An abundance of words would, to most people, be of great use in motivating the depressed to action. My only question is this…How do you, an outside source with no earthly idea the extent of their pain, motivate those who cannot motivate themselves…with words?

Can I be honest in saying that it is highly likely that words were the catalyst to their current state? I mean sure, actions speak far louder than words but language is what affirms the motivation behind the giver. Words add validity to what they are already thinking. Speaking from experience I know that I was never in need of someone to come along and tell me that I shouldn’t feel the way I do (I already knew that). I was never in need of someone to tell me that as a Christian I should be happier because God was in my life (I already knew that). See, I already knew the logical answers. I was fully aware of what I should’ve been feeling, thinking, and doing but my awareness never once deterred my feelings.

It is in these moments that two things must happen.

1.) The afflicted soul must come to grips with the reality that what they are feeling and/or experiencing is nine times out of ten irrational and that’s ok. In order to best move forward we have to know where to start.

2.) The motivational coach of the situation has to realize that they are practically useless here. I don’t mean that rudely or as an encouragement to do nothing but I simply say that they cannot approach this situation thinking that they are superman. The worst mistake someone can make is thinking that they have all of the answers….Simply put, you don’t and there’s a reason…You haven’t taken the time to try and understand where we are coming from.

Talk is cheap but a listening ear is richer than gold to those who are without hope. 

My constant advice to those who are wondering and to myself is this: Listen before you speak. Take the time to try and best understand the circumstance of the other individual, why they are feeling the way they do, and be extremely slow to give practical advice. Odds are, they already know what you’re going to say. The best way for a sad soul to heal is to know why they feel the way that they do. They cannot do such a thing if no one gives them a chance to express it.

But words will always hurt me

Again, a HUGE thank you for taking your time to write this, Matthew! If you’d like to drop Matthew a line, please do so in the Comments section here or on his site. I know he’d love to hear from you.

 

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Guest blogger teaser for Friday night.


Computer_keyboard

Matthew Malin will be my guest blogger this Friday night about 8:30 eastern time (U.S.)

Without taking too much away from his intro on Friday, he and I both survive with depression.

If you would like a great read and example of his writing, check out his short story, A Sheep Named Wolf. It’s an excellent moral tale of humankind.

Don’t forget to join us on Friday as Matthew talks about his experiences with depression and anxiety!

 

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Selfless | [POETRY]


Reblog this to someone who may need to hear it today.

Let’s reach out to our friends who are hurting.

image of hands holding hands

Selfless

He took a little piece of him,

and placed it in my hand

I was hurting, sad, and broken,

and I couldn’t understand

Why he gave so selflessly,

and cared to share a part

Of him so free and graciously,

a portion of his heart

 

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We all have different ways in which we cope. [GUEST POST]


Today’s guest blogger is Paul Falcone of wemustbebroken.com. Paul and I are a lot alike. We’ve both lived with depression since we were about 13. We are both musicians. And we both enjoy blogging about our depression. Though Paul is 21 and I am 41, I feel like we’ve been friends for some time. We met through blogging and I’ve looked to Paul and his words for inspiration, as well as to see how other men live with their depression. Paul is truly a loving servant of mankind and a kind soul. I encourage you to not only read this post and drop him a line in the Comments section, but to visit his site and do the same. You will fall in love with his smooth writing and his music videos that reach in to the core of your heart and pull out the words that you were struggling to speak.

If you’re interested in being a guest blogger on surviving the specter, please check out the tab at the top of my home page and send me an email with your ideas.

And now. Enjoy Paul’s post!


paul_falcone_001

Paul and his girlfriend, Evelyn

Tragedy can often leave the strongest people on their knees, resulting in desperate attempts to do something, anything, to make whatever pain they’re feeling go away. Even if it’s temporary. Some of these things however, can be destructive. They can develop habits that walk next to them for the rest of their life.

Have you ever lost someone who you loved?

How far did you go to numb that pain?

If you’re one of the people who has experienced this already, can you remember what that felt like? The complete loss of care or self worth, filled with sadness, grief, maybe even anger? And at the time there’s nothing anyone can really say to help or make those feelings go away. It’s something that takes time. But in time you learn to live with the fact that they are gone, and you do little things to remember them by. To carry their legacy, you move forward.

Now, imagine feeling that kind of helplessness a little more regularly. I won’t go as far to say that depression feels like the loss of a loved one, but I mean it when I say at times it does. It feels like a piece of you is missing. And when that feeling of helplessness and grief continues for extensive periods of time people can begin to seek means of numbing themselves. Drugs and alcohol probably come to mind first. But there are so many others that sometimes aren’t even realized. Sex, binge eating, and extensive use of finances and materialistic things can all be methods in which people cope to numb feelings they have (or feelings they don’t have, apathy is also all too common).

But why am I writing this?

Because I suffer from depression and anxiety.

Often times I’m asked what it feels like when the depression hits. Is it just sadness? Do you just want to isolate yourself and be alone? I mean yes, it is. But theres so much more. It feels like there’s a hand inside of my head that is pulling on the back of both of my eyes, slowly encasing me in myself. It makes you feel like you want to cry, but for me, no tears ever come. It’s like there’s a black hole sitting in the middle of my chest that is sucking any little bit of life that I have out of me. From the tips of my fingers to the bottom of my feet, I feel everything start to retract. And I go numb. It can happen when I’m in a room full of laughing people who I could consider my best friends. And out of no where it’ll hit me like a truck. And often times all I can do is watch as the truck approaches, caught like a deer in the headlights. I’ll start to slip. And my mind feels heavy with pressure as doubts flood in and I start to question even the most concrete parts of my life.

 Am I actually a good friend? 

Does my girlfriend actually like me?

Have I let my family down? 

Now multiply this times a hundred and you get a lot of sleepless nights. I shut down. I often joke around that I feel like a robot. Programmed to go through the motions and react to things a certain way but I stopped feeling genuine. Especially when I was in those droughts when the depression was harder. I’d be lying if I said I enjoyed this being a part of me, but I can one hundred percent say that I’m on the path to accepting that this is part of me, and that’s okay.

When it comes to coping personally, I have a few methods I have tried and integrated into my life over the years. The biggest thing for me is to exercise myself creatively. Writing is one of the biggest ways to help me feel better. Getting my thoughts down on paper can really help me see two things.

1.) This is what’s going on in my head. It’s all sorted out now. It’s not so bad.

2.)  These thoughts are really irrational and I just didn’t realize it until I put it down on paper.

I know I’m good to my family. And I know I have a girlfriend who really cares about me. But those thoughts do pop in my head. No matter how irrational they may be. That’s what depression does. It tells you that you can’t instead of you can and that things aren’t working when they are.

Apart from writing, music helps me a lot too. Over the last 5 or 6 years I’ve been writing music and a part of several bands. Putting out two cd’s in the process. Those cd’s actually became the titles for my blog, Dear Hope and We Must Be Broken. Both albums cover a lot of personal struggles with identity and depression, and the music was a creative way for me to outlet a lot of what I was feeling in a healthy way. Lyrics, poems, stories and music all became a way for me to put my emotions somewhere, and it’s helped me extensively.

Also, besides exercising my creativity, exercising in general tends to help me out a lot too. Which is unfortunate, because when I’m depressed this is something that can be extremely hard to do. It’s hard enough to get out of bed sometimes, let alone go for a run or start lifting. But here’s me being honest with myself for a second. I feel better when I’m being active. Even if it’s just a short run to clear my mind. I used to be an athlete all throughout high school and was in really good shape (not the case anymore) so sometimes I feel like I’m never going to reach that point again. I probably won’t honestly, but I need to look at it as something that’s going to make me feel good. Even if I’m not into the full hardcore fitness anymore. Exerting those emotions and sadness into a physical burning when you’re working out can help extinguish some of those heavy feelings.

And as hard as it is to do sometimes. Being around people is often the best cure. Having a strong support group is something that I have been blessed with and believe me when I say there are days I want to stay in my room with the lights off and have no one talk to me. I want to isolate myself and just stay in the sadness. It’s familiar. It’s comfortable. It has become something I’ve gotten so used to that I just accept it sometimes without trying to fight. But on the occasions I do, and force myself around friends and laughter, sometimes I can snap myself out of it.

These are the positive ways in which I cope. But I have had my share of negatives. There was a cutting incident when I was thirteen back when I had less of a grip on what depression was and what I was feeling that I regret. I think it was more a call for help than anything else. I try my best to stay away from drugs and alcohol or binging on either. I try and live life without a crutch, and I want to be able to say that I can be comfortable with who I am before doing something to numb me. But again, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t drank to numb before. A last one is food. Food is always my weakness. In fact, it’s one of the only senses I can still feel when I’m depressed. Often I’m reduced to an apathetic state and taste is the only thing that still works. So I eat. And eat. And eat. What can I say, I love food. Even when I’m not depressed. But I do realize how unhealthy this is. And I’m trying to be better with it. And I think that’s the important thing to remember. Be aware of your pain, and be aware of how you cope. In the heat of the moment it can be hard to care if the choice is a negative or positive one, but when you keep it in the back of your head you get stronger everyday. I fight almost daily still, but I’m getting better.

I know I am.

And you can too.

Always remember you are not alone. And you are loved.

PF

Again, thank you for taking your time to write this, Paul! If you’d like to drop Paul a line, please do so in the Comments section here or on his site. I know he’d love to hear from you.

 

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I’m Getting Her PTSD, Pt. 5 [POEM]


How do you relate to the people in your life with PTSD?

This post is part of a series of poems dedicated to my girlfriend. She has PTSD and severe anxiety and you will understand her story with each post. Each time I learn something about the mental conditions she lives with, I add a “part” to the series. Please read the previous verses. Each can be found at these links – Part 1, Part 2Part 3, and Part 4 of her story and the lessons she’s taught me.

Image of girl running

“In panic she runs, through her forested mind”

Running on Empty-

Heading towards “E”, one mile at a time,

The rubber is melting the road.

With her foot to the floor, and the gauge in the red,

She races to unburden her load.

The wraiths of panic, pursue her in flight,

Their talons are shredding her gown.

The harpies of terror, claw at her hair,

Knocking her down to the ground.

In panic she runs, through her forested mind,

Past triggers, closing too quick.

She can’t get away, not this time,

She’s stuck in the labyrinth; the crypt.

The branches slash, the thorns rape her skin,

And the rocks they bloody her feet.

She’s almost on empty, the tank’s almost bare,

She’s crumbling in fright and defeat.

And I catch up to her, pulling her close,

So she stops, and she looks up at me.

“I can’t do this. I won’t, and I quit.”

“Let me go. I just want to leave.”

And I let her crumble, and the tunnel opens up,

She’s so exhausted, and broke.

But she’s made it again, through the anxiety,

Such a spirit of resiliency and hope.

She’s grown on me, and taught me her life,

My mouth hangs open in awe.

For I’m getting her condition, her PTSD

I’m beginning to understand it all.

Thank you for reading the fifth installment of this series. Please pass it on to those who are surviving through PTSD, flashbacks, and anxiety.

 

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Coping with Flashbacks [ARTICLE]


The Night Harpies of Terror

The Night Harpies of Terror

My girlfriend has PTSD.

I’ve learned that flashbacks haunt her on a regular basis. It took me some time to get used to this and so I wrote a poem about it because it is something I’ve learned about her and her PTSD.

I found an article that helped me learn some more things about this phenomena and thought that it would be good to put it out there for our community – http://ptsd.about.com/od/selfhelp/a/flashcoping.htm

Here’s a quote I appreciated and that opened my eyes just a little bit wider in understanding-

In coping with flashbacks and dissociation, prevention is key.

Flashbacks and dissociation are often triggered or cued by some kind of reminder of a traumatic event (for example, encountering certain people, going to specific places), or some other stressful experience. Therefore, it is important to identify the specific things that trigger flashbacks or dissociation.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post, my friend. Do you live with flashbacks? Is there another coping mechanism you use that the article didn’t mention? Would you feel comfortable sharing it in the Comments section?

 
 

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Mindfulness and Depression: Learning to Feel Good Again [ARTICLE]


Picture of Willoughby Spit on the Chesapeake Bay, Norfolk, VA USA

Willoughby Spit on the Chesapeake Bay, Norfolk, VA USA

Here’s a pretty good article on mindfulness – http://www.choosehelp.com/topics/depression/mindfulness-and-depressionI thought you might like it.

How many people use this? I have a really hard time sitting in one place for 20 minutes. I’ve done this once, in a Saturday session NAMI class. My “safe place” was the beach that’s across the street from me. Here’s a picture of it for you to enjoy!

If mindfulness is new to you, here’s a quick quote from the article that gives you the gist of it-

The main idea in mindful meditations is to look at your thoughts as fleeting curiosities. This is added to a perspective that we need to live in the present. Not to ruminate about the past or worry about the future. Now that already sounds good to people who suffer from depression. It is sort of like when I was a kid, and there was a big kid who would threaten me. My mother would tell me to ignore him. She said if you don’t react he’ll leave you alone. I said, “But he’s going to beat me up!” She told me that he is looking for a reaction and I need to let him find it somewhere else. I said, “but he’s picked on me in the past!” She said, “That’s in the past. Let it go!”

That’s the attitude you need for mindful meditation. You learn to ignore the threatening thoughts. Especially with negative, beating-you-up type thoughts, but also for any thought. In mindful meditation you learn how to observe your thoughts without letting them conquer you or control you or your emotions. You learn to detach yourself from your thinking in such a way that you can consciously decide whether or not the thought is worthwhile engaging or not.

Have you, or do you use mindfulness? Care to share with us in the Comments section? I’d love to hear what you have to say, my friend.

 

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Hopefulness [POETRY]


Really felt someone needed to hear this today. Thank you for passing it on. X

Poem entitled, Hopefulness.

A little thought of hopefulness

Went out for you today.

I see you’ve grown discouraged.

I’ve seen you’ve been away.

I miss you and I wonder.

If you really are okay.

And that I want to see you.

Perhaps we’ll talk today?

Maybe in a little while.

I can hear your voice.

To tell you that I love you friend.

Amidst the strife and noise.

I miss you and I wonder.

If you really are okay.

And that I want to see you.

Perhaps we’ll talk today.

 

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EMDR – Session 1 | What Was My First Session Like?


Today was my first EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing Therapy) session. An introductory session, a teaser if you will. A little preview of the program.

I was pretty tired but decided to play along. I had done my homework and written down the most painful memory I had. Actually, I was feeling spunky with the Adderall so I wrote down 5.

It’s a nice number.

THQUIRELL!

Notes from my first EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Processing Therapy) Session.

Notes from my first EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Processing Therapy) Session.

What is EMDR?

EMDR therapy is recognized as an effective form of trauma treatment. The founder, Francine Shapiro, was walking in the park thinking through some of her own distressing memories. As she watched the ducks going back and forth she realized that the side-to-side lateral eye movements seemed to decrease the negative emotion associated with the negative memories. She assumed that eye movements had a desensitizing effect, and when she experimented with this she found that others also had the same response to eye movements.

SOURCE: http://www.emdr.com/general-information/what-is-emdr.html

My therapist told me that Francine wondered if there were any other times in which lateral eye movement seemed to benefit people and she had an epiphany – REM sleep!

The rest is history.

I Told Him My Homework

Since I have my homework pictured above, I won’t reiterate it. How did I guess we were going to start with items 4 and 5? I should’ve known. If you care to read about these items, I wrote about them in a little more depth in a post entitled, Forgiving My Dad’s Anger. It may turn out to be a series, I’m not sure yet.

I Made An Island

When we started, my therapist gave me a pair of headphones and two small ovular items that fit in the palm of each hand and had cords that plugged into a base unit along with the earphones. I asked what the heck this was all about and he explained that I would hear beeps in the headphones that alternated between each side, and at the same time the units in my hand would vibrate in sync with the beeps I was hearing. This was supposed to replace me following his moving hand with my eyes, sort of like the cops do when you get pulled over for a sobriety check.

So now that the instrument explanation was over, he had me shut my eyes and explained that I would be making an island. This was to be my safe place where no one could harm me and the entire island was surrounded by a forcefield. He had me tell him what I saw as well as what I smelled, heard, and felt.

I told him I saw white sand (unlike the nasty brown stuff indigenous to this area that sticks to your skin) and that it was fine like powder. I heard waves, seagulls, the wind blowing through huge palm trees, and somewhere waaaaaaaaaaaaay back in the recesses of my mind, a screecher monkey howling deep in the forest, haha.

For the next 5-7 minutes, with the headphones on and the buzzers buzzing, I had to imagine myself sitting in a recliner just enjoying my island.

Being mindul.

This is a technique we did in one of our NAMI meetings and is good for PTSD and those who suffer with anxiety. My girlfriend uses this in her DBT training as well.

How the Session Ended

So all that took about 45 minutes. We ended the session with him telling me that this would be a good practice for me to try. It slows the breathing and heart rate down and would do wonders to help me relax. He told me that when things got heavy (we would be “dredging” up a lot of old trees that had fallen and were buried deep) or too much, I would use this as my safe place until I came back down.

How Do I Feel About EMDR So Far?

I won’t lie, I’m a skeptic.

Even though it’s scientifically documented to be successful many times over, I am of the thinking that it’s a farce at this point.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to be open minded. But it’s going to take A LOT to get me on the other side of the fence.

Thank you so much for taking your time to read this post. I do appreciate it.

So what are your thoughts as readers? Have any of you undergone this type of therapy? Have you found it successful? Have you not? I’m looking forward to holding a dialogue with you in the Comments section. 

 

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Blank [POETRY]


poetry_blank_001

“Blank”

Now you’ve gone and done it,

You’ve broken all his bones.

Your words were quite the perfect weapons

They crushed him like thrown stones

Now you’ve gone and done it,

You’ve slashed her mind to shreds.

Any hope of self esteem,

You’ve dashed down on the river bed.

I bet you’re pretty proud,

You heartless parasite.

To be the one to ruin minds,

To make them want to end their lives.

This will be your legacy,

How you’re remembered here.

Your stone will have no words,

Your life will disappear.

 

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I’m Getting Her PTSD. Pt. 4 [POEM]


How do you relate to the people in your life with PTSD?

This post is part of a series of poems dedicated to my girlfriend. She has PTSD and severe anxiety and you will understand her story with each post. Each time I learn something about the mental conditions she lives with, I add a “part” to the series. Please read the previous verses. Each can be found at these links – Part1, Part 2 and Part 3 of her story and the lessons she’s taught me.

Photo of abandoned girl with her legs crossed and her head in her lap.

Remembering all those children of fathers whom they have never had the chance of knowing. I am praying for the emptiness in your soul to be filled with peace.

Fatherless Day-

She sat next to me, as the fathers all stood,

And her soul crashed onto the rocks.

Because she’s never known hers, in all of her years,

Through all of life’s punches she blocks.

My soul is torn, as I stand up,

Next to my beautiful daughter of ten.

Through the pain and the hurt, the tears and the loss,

I’d throw down, I’d do it again.

I feel her pain, and it humbles my soul,

The feeling is so hard to take.

To be humble and proud, as I stand in the crowd,

When she’s sitting there in so much pain.

She doesn’t speak a word, but she rubs my side,

She is so strong and helps me along.

She tells me to keep fighting, to be there for her,

The daughter who I sometimes feel I’ve lost.

Her heart aches and yearns, for a father she’d know,

A man whom she could call dad.

And I want to take it, make it all go away

The abandonment and the sad.

So I’ll honor her, and her tenderly tough soul,

And the selflessness she always gives.

And hold her hand, through this painful day,

And the heartache through which she has to live.

She’s grown on me, and taught me her life,

My mouth hangs open in awe.

For I’m getting her condition, her PTSD

I’m beginning to understand it all.

Thank you for reading the fourth installment of this poem. Please pass it onto those who are missing their fathers today.

 

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The List [POETRY]


This is for the brotherhood and sisterhood of US…those who have been bullied. Let’s befriend those who don’t have someone to turn to.

Background image of notebook with poem transcribed in the foreground.

I knew a boy, who made a list

Of all the wrongs that were done

Of those who broke his soul and will

Of those whose time had come

 

But you noticed him today and said

Hello, my name is friend

Will you be mine and hear my hurt

I’m sure we’ll help each other mend

 

And that boy, his list he took and burned

Because you noticed him, in all his perfect pain

He healed and bloomed because of you my friend

His life was never the same

 

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“Breaking Point”, Bullet For My Valentine [Video, Lyrics]



The lyrics describe how I feel about MY actions and express what I go through. They were not included to show how I feel about another person. I post to try to sort out MY actions and feelings, not to blame the other person in any way. I only need to focus on how my poor actions are not aligned with how I know I need to act in accordance with my Faith.

“Breaking Point”

Yeah!

Spitting out my (Poison)
Acidic taste on the tip on my tongue,
I can’t take your (Medicine)
You’re so bitter better get up and run

Warning! Eye for an eye
When revenge comes charging
Warning! Eye for an eye
You won’t see it coming
… You won’t see it coming…

If you carry on,
You won’t win that fight,
If you take me on,
You’ll find my breaking point

Please don’t test my (Patience)
My short fuse you don’t wanna ignite,
Do not scratch the (Surface)
And wake the beast cause it’s ready to fight

Warning!
Eye for an eye
When revenge comes knocking
Warning!
Eye for an eye
You won’t feel it coming
… You won’t feel it coming…

If you carry on,
You won’t win that fight,
If you take me on,
You’ll find my breaking point

Everybody’s got a breaking point,
Nobody wants to see that side of me,
Stop pushing ’cause I won’t back down,
Nobody’s gonna break that part of me

[Solo]

It’s an eye for an eye
It’s an eye for an eye
It’s an eye for an eye
It’s an eye for an eye

If you carry on,
You won’t win that fight,
If you take me on,
You’ll find my breaking point

If you carry on,
You won’t win that fight,
If you take me on,
You’ll find my breaking point

Yeah!

I’m at my breaking point


 

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“Temper Temper”, Bullet For My Valentine [Video, Lyrics]



“Temper Temper”

This time you’d better bite your tongue
Think twice before you open that mouth
Save your breath, hold it in your lungs
The urge remains, will it overcome?

I feel the tension rising high
I feel my heart pound in my chest
Not seeing straight, just seeing red
Can’t hold it back
Here comes my

Temper temper, time to explode (Hey)
Feels good when I lose control
Temper temper, time to explode (Hey)
Chamber’s empty, time to reload

Too late cause now you can’t disarm
Too slow, you know you should’ve backed down
Didn’t think before you crossed that line?
This intervention’s gonna be divine

I feel the time it’s drawing near
I feel the sweat dripping down my face
Not seeing straight, just seeing red
Can’t hold it back
Here comes my

Temper temper, time to explode (Hey)
Feels good when I lose control
Temper temper, time to explode (Hey)
Chamber’s empty, time to reload

Temper temper, time to explode
Temper temper, time to explode
Temper temper, time to explode
Temper temper, time to explode
Temper temper, time to explode
Feels good when we lose control
Temper temper, time to reload
Chamber’s empty, time to reload

Oh… Here comes my

Temper temper, time to explode (Hey)
Feels good when I lose control
Temper temper, time to explode (Hey)
Chamber’s empty, time to reload

Temper temper, time to explode (Hey)
Feels good when I lose control
Temper temper, time to explode (Hey)
Chamber’s empty, time to reload

Time to reload!


 
 

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Words from the Cutting Block [Poem]



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Ten Positive Thoughts About What You’re Feeling [List]


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  1. You are a normal human who experiences emotions like others. They may be a little bit more extreme. So what.
  2. Don’t let someone downplay what you are feeling. Ever.
  3. What you are going through is VERY, VERY real. You must tend to it and monitor it.
  4. You can break the chain…of depression. Of suicide. Of cutting. Of drinking. It may be a very real fight. I know my friend, I live with it every day. But you are capable of ending it in your generation.
  5. You can feel better with counseling and medicine.
  6. And exercise.
  7. And the Lord.
  8. Journaling or blogging will also help you in your coping and recovery.
  9. You are a brave and courageous person for living through your Specter. How many people begin and continue their day when they find it as hard as you do? You’re a survivor. Yes, indeed, a hero you beautiful soul.
  10. Surround yourself with those who care for your well being. Cultivate positive relationships. Make necessary endings with toxic relationships. Start pruning today!

May you find peace in the valley which you are currently traveling.

-Chris

 

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Image

I’m Getting Her PTSD. Pt. 1 [Poem]

I’m Getting Her PTSD. Pt. 1 [Poem]

How do you relate to the people in your life with PTSD?

This post is part of a series of poems dedicated to my girlfriend. She has PTSD and severe anxiety and you will understand her story with each post. Each time I learn something about the mental conditions she lives with, I add a “part” to the series. Please read Part 2 and Part 3 of her story and the lessons she’s taught me.

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History becomes Her story-

She’s a beautiful soul, trapped deep in her keep,

In a place she won’t let most inside.

So I’ve entered slowly and cautiously here,

Not breaking the trust she confides.

Her levels and layers, her pain and her hurt

Run as deep as the red in her blood.

And I sit and I listen, to all that she says,

Which comes from her core that is good.

She tells me of rape, of the breaking of bones,

And a tear glistens down over my cheek.

For I’ve known the warrior, the battle hardened victor,

Not imagining her soft soul so meak.

Sometimes she gets up, in the middle of the night

She says that it’s just too hard.

She’ll leave then apologize because she’s flashed back

I’m not angry, I’m honored ’cause she let down a wall.

We tell each other, “You get me.” “You understand who I am”,

And we hold each other tight.

And I’ll hold her and treasure her, ’til peace arrives,

And helps her sleep through the night.

She’s grown on me, and taught me her life,

My mouth hangs open in awe.

For I’m getting her condition, her PTSD

I’m beginning to understand it all.

Do you have suggestions for supporting people with PTSD? Will you share them with us?

 
6 Comments

Posted by on 03/02/2015 in Anxiety, Poetry, PTSD

 

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