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Several years ago, my pastor showed a segment of this powerful movie for one of his sermons on Relationship. I finally was able to sit down with my 10-year old daughter and watch it.
Here are my five takeaways and how they apply to my life.
- Affliction is above no one. It can touch anyone at any time in their lives. We are not subhuman because we are afflicted with mental illness, or physical manifestations. We are survivors. We fight a struggle others can only read about or imagine. You may be a poor farmer, a blue-collar factory worker, a white-collar executive, or a member of royalty. Affliction does not discriminate against wealth, skin color, or socioeconomic status. It may not be a result of their choices. And if we don’t suffer from Affliction, this should teach the rest of us empathy.
- Your affliction may not control you. You may be the one controlling it. It may be the manifestation of a deeper struggle. You may actually be giving it control because it puts comfort to something that is so discomforting to acknowledge, live with, or speak about.
- Family may not be your support network. Your family may in fact, be the source of your affliction. I have friends where family happens to be their harshest judge or most vehement opposition – largely the cause of their trauma and particular circumstance. We would hope that family would be our staunchest champions, but sadly in some cases, they are the source of our trauma, often caused at a younger age or a recent schism.
- A father’s relationship is pivotal. Single dad to an innocent, beautiful girl. My actions are pivotal to her development. This is a bearing built into my moral compass. Do I fall short so often? I sure do. I am perfectly imperfect. Remembering how much I affect her development is always the bell in the fog that ropes me back to the harbor. Hopefully before I exact anything that damages her sails, free will, self-esteem, and mental health.
- Your strongest champion may not have letters after their name. Their door may not have Ph.D inscribed on it. They may not be published. Or knighted. Or of the same social class. They may not be anyone noteworthy in your life. But they took their time to help you, or to understand you. We call them friends.
What are your thoughts? Have you seen the movie? Is there anything you would like to add on this topic? I’d love to dialogue about it with you in the Comments section.
Cinnia
05/16/2016 at 09:29
I really loved this movie. Saw it in theaters when it came out. And yes, these are all really great points. I can’t really think of anything else to add except that #3 is so true. Too often I hear from people that I should try to get along with the toxic members of my family, that I need to accept them in my life even if they drag me down. Respectfully, I fundamentally disagree with the idea I hear sometimes that blood family trumps everything else. I don’t think they are entitled to anything from me because we share genetics. I think families are built on love, respect, and trust, not blood.
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Surviving the Specter
05/16/2016 at 17:24
Ahh yes, Cinnia. I think family should show an unconditional love for their members. It’s unfortunate that this is a compromised value. There should also be slowness to judge and quickness to care. Of course when something is done that violates our own values that is when it is the hardest to practice. But isn’t this the time that it is needed the most? xXx
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SassaFrassTheFeisty
05/15/2016 at 17:34
Need to watch. Deep in the depression and i can’t even binge watch Outlander, and finding that my family is not a support network at all, but the spider Web that keeps me stuck. I honestly can not wait to get the settlement from my work comp claim and get the fuck out of this god forsaken state and away from those who hold me back from being a better me. ❤️
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Surviving the Specter
05/15/2016 at 21:04
Sass’, I wish I had an elixir that would take this away in minutes, or at least move you closer so we could commiserate with you and just give you a big fat ole bear hug that would let you know you’re not alone and that you DO have a support network and friends who care. I just wish wish wish I could take away this valley you are in and go through it for you. Please remember you are one of my warrior princesses. You with that Z-killer Morgue is always swingin’. xXx
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SassaFrassTheFeisty
05/15/2016 at 21:38
❤️❤️❤️👼 Thank you. I wanna wear a crown 😉 In all honesty this means alot. Thank you from the depths of my despair
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morgueticiaatoms
05/15/2016 at 17:28
I moved out at 17 because I was so sure all my problems stemmed from being bullied in school and having a judgmental, dysfunctional family. Even on my own, avoiding them like the plague, the bipolar cycles happened, again and again. They definitely make it worse, being bullied definitely left some scars, but bottom line is…my brain is imbalanced.
I think we who battle it should receive empathy and be admired. Instead, too often we are ostracized and called names. Maybe this movie should be standard viewing material for McMuggles.
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Surviving the Specter
05/15/2016 at 20:58
N’, this is such a sad story. Do you think the “imbalance” was since birth, or was it trauma exacerbated by the bullying. I need to get back to my poems on bullying. It’s really something I feel strongly about and SO prevalent in today’s society. I love you for who you are my friend. You give me hope to fight through my trash. xXx
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morgueticiaatoms
05/16/2016 at 09:39
I don’t have a clue if it was from birth or whatnot. I know the anxiety was there from age 7, I’d hyperventilate because I became convinced a bug flew into my ear and was laying eggs in my head. Rather than soothe and reassure, my parents made me feel like a moron.
And they always described me as the “moody” child because my sister was the extrovert of bubbliness while I preferred my books.
I don’t think I ever stood a chance between those parents and the genetics.
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Surviving the Specter
05/16/2016 at 17:26
I’m in the same boat. I don’t know if I was born with my mental condition or if there was a traumatic event that either caused it or compounded it. I think it’s a combination of both genetics and a traumatic event, though I’m trying to uncover the event. X
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