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Pull Me [Poetry]

23 Nov

TRIGGER WARNING-This post deals with how I felt the night of my suicide attempt.

I hope you will scroll down and continue reading after the words, which I’ve typed out in text format.

poetry_pull me_002

Pull Me

I had a little trigger, that pushed me all the way

To hang myself upon my door, I couldn’t make it go away

I knocked it down with sleeping pills, and tucked it in with rum

The Specter slashed his razor claws, the round had slipped into the gun

 

I had a little trigger, that pulled itself real tight

I slipped the belt around my neck, I lost the will to fight

I cut it off with leather cinched, this time would be the last

I’d ever have to take again, the demons from my past

 

I had a little trigger, it jabbed me in my throat

To end the crap that smeared itself, across the lies it wrote

The failures, loss, resentment, of a thousand dreaded days

To suck out all the happiness, replaced it with the grey that stays

 

The trigger pulled, the hammer fell

The firing pin, that sealed my hell

Waiting while the light fades out

Extinguishing without a shout


 

Thank you if you are still reading.

My name is Chris, and on September 14th of 2014 I hanged myself.

I’ve been away for a while…pursuing a graduate certificate in eLearning.

But just mostly away…

Apathetic. I really can’t shake it.

I’ve been on a roll of laziness and sloth.

Driven to the hinterlands of the gray by the chemical reaction of the chemicals I take, to balance the effects of the chemicals I make.

I’m still in that chemical funk but wanted to force myself to write something in the interim. Thank you for my dear friends who have reached out to check on me. I am indebted to your caring, kindness.

X Chris

p.s. – in lieu of recent WP changes, would someone please let me know how we are to link  back to previous posts?

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4 responses to “Pull Me [Poetry]

  1. KatieComeBack

    11/27/2015 at 22:18

    I was just wondering today where you’d been. Glad to see you. I can’t figure out how to link old posts except to have my site on a new tab and cut and paste the link….

    Like

     
  2. peggyricewi

    11/26/2015 at 18:01

    Thanks for sharing with such honesty.
    And I appreciate your statement: Driven to the hinterlands of the gray by the chemical reaction of the chemicals I take, to balance the effects of the chemicals I make. – oh, how I relate!

    Like

     
  3. strugglesmiles

    11/24/2015 at 17:06

    Thanks for your transparency…

    Like

     
  4. SassaFrassTheFeisty

    11/24/2015 at 07:55

    Very raw and honest. Hang in there my friend! You’re gonna get that degree!! Love ya ❤️❤️❤️

    Like

     

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