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September is Suicide Prevention/Awareness Month

08 Sep

TRIGGER WARNING: This post discusses my suicide attempt. Please, my friend, do not read it if this is a trigger.

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This month is Suicide Prevention/Awareness month.

And next week marks the one year anniversary of my hanging.

So I want to take this month to reblog some of my posts talking about this tumor that can strike anyone at any time.

It strikes those of us who are depressed most often.

For those left in the aftermath the largest question they have is “Why?” My family and friends wondered the same thing while I lay in the hospital.

I wrote this post in an attempt to explain what I was thinking when I put the noose around my neck-

When Do We Decide to Commit Suicide?

In closing, and for those who are where I was a year ago, right now…You. Are. Not. Alone. The feelings will eventually subside. They may revisit like Specter does, but you will know how to deal with them next time.

Right now as I’m writing this I have these feelings pulsing through my veins. I won’t act on these BECAUSE I know they will subside and I have the Lord’s strength on my side. It’s just been a rough week…

  • My account is overdrawn (I get paid once a month)
  • I started a graduate certificate and my tuition reimbursement hasn’t cleared – I am facing late fines and possible expulsion from the program
  • I am worried about having enough gas in my car for the rest of the month and it’s only the 8th
  • I was unable to buy groceries this month
  • My girlfriend and I ended our relationship
  • I was rear-ended last week in a triple car accident on the interstate

I just felt like sitting down and crying today. I feel worthless and at age 42, like I don’t have anything to show except for a daughter that just started 5th grade today.

Maintain hope in the presence of hopelessness.

Maintain strength in the presence of despair.

Rethink your decision in 24 hours.

You will overcome.

We believe in you.

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9 responses to “September is Suicide Prevention/Awareness Month

  1. KatieComeBack

    09/09/2015 at 22:07

    Hugs…just keep marching through all this muck!!

    Like

     
  2. Matthew Malin

    09/09/2015 at 00:51

    My friend, I am so very sorry to hear of all that is happening. I certainly hope that things begin looking up and I will pray for you as I think of you!

    Liked by 1 person

     
    • Surviving the Specter

      09/09/2015 at 08:38

      Thank you my dear friend, Matthew. I appreciate your prayers through this valley. These are all trials/tests in which He is correcting or perfecting me. It’s up to me to learn the lessons. Please pray for my clarity to see, my humility to accept, and my fortitude to carry out His will. Love you brother. Thank you for your support. X

      Liked by 1 person

       
  3. gingersnap74

    09/08/2015 at 22:04

    Always praying for you, my friend! I hope God grants you the strength and wisdom you need and I’m so sorry for your rough week. This too shall pass. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

     
  4. Tessa

    09/08/2015 at 18:44

    So sorry for such a lousy week. Hold strong and prayers and positive thoughts coming through. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

     
  5. dianetharp70

    09/08/2015 at 18:22

    Lotsa Hugs & prayers Chris

    Like

     

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