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Worthless

20 May

(TRIGGER WARNING)

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it ain’t no screem no cry for help

when you find yourself at the end of a belt

when she don’t answer the phone

and you can’t talk to your girl

give up it shouts

punching your ribs

blind sided kidney sucker punch

spent

hopeless

the warrior down for 1…2…3!!!

all sporks melted in resentment

at Her

for injecting her with Her queen venom

stay strong for her, dad

you fight

don’t you dare give up on her preciousness

you call and leave messages

every

day

if that’s what you’re blessed with

fight the fight

put down the drink

show her strength

that you remember her

never forgetting her while you’re apart

out of sight, FOREVER in mind

in heart

show her you remember

show her your dedication

be the best dad that you can for her

while you’re not there

and she’s still there

keep her visitation room clean and tidy

clean her every other weekend clothes

stocked Lunchables in the fridge

for when you take her to school

what do you do

when you feel like you’ve abandoned

her?

writing through tears

and fears

of losing her forever

loser dad, not there, not present

how much will I miss out on

quality not quantity

fight the noose

the depression

the specter

slashing my achilles with His knives

Lord please give me your strength

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2 responses to “Worthless

  1. morgueticiaatoms

    05/21/2015 at 08:36

    Very nice expression of your feelings for your daughter. And the sporks phenomenon is catching on, I see 😉

    Liked by 1 person

     
    • Surviving the Specter

      05/21/2015 at 08:55

      Thank you. I appreciate your support my friend. It took a toll on my writing that last night. Cried the whole way through. Therapeutic for release. No sporks were harmed in the making 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

       

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