RSS

Support from Others During My Melancholia.

28 Apr


Why do I seclude myself?

If you’re a follower, you know that I’ve been in a valley for quite some time – a place in my depression that’s close to Specter, but not to the point of being suicidal. More of a melancholia that my friend Harry P X Frost so rightly named. An apathy. A lethargy. A deep despair. A forced lonesomeness. seclusion_001

Notice the word forced in that last part?

This melancholia sort of forces me to put myself in seclusion. I say “sort of” because I am introverted and appreciate my alone time, so that’s definitely a factor in my seclusion.

The melancholia certainly compounds it though.

Laying catatonic under a blanket on the couch. Watching a Red Box movie or Netflix. Doritos dunkin’ in cream cheese. That’s how it goes.

How does my support network react to my seclusion?

I am however, fortunate to have a supportive network of friends and family who not only reach out, but also have such a spot-on understanding of how I get, that they are able to step back and give me some alone time.

I am fortunate because they trust me when I say I just need some space to regroup. That’s a HUGE step for them, especially after my suicide attempt last September. HUGE.

I thank them for their trust to the point of giving me that time.

I know you must be thinking that is the exact opposite of what they should be doing, but it’s not. I reach a point when I get cranky and I imagine unbearable to others I am talking to. Ask my girlfriend and she’ll tell you the exact times that we DON’T talk because it’s more or less a futile effort. She understands. And I am thankful for that.

I don’t feel being alone is “dangerous” all the time. If you’re an extrovert you might be reading this post with a look on your face that reflects some confusion. But I bet if you’re introverted you feel the sapping of your energy in much the same way.

On the other hand, we as introverted and depressed people need to distinctly recognize when those feelings cross the line of safety.

We must have a plan in place when we’re secluding ourselves. 

♦  Are you able to recognize this line within yourself? If not, maybe you could date and journal (or blog) how you feel so you can go back and reflect on these times?

♦  Who are you going to reach out to? It might be wise to have that list of at least three people in case the first two cannot talk for some reason.

♦  How will you communicate a need to be alone safely to your network? You will probably need to reassure them. I tell or text my friends that I need some alone time and that I’m not feeling suicidal. Fortunately, as I’ve said before, they understand and trust this need I have.

Do you have a part of your (crisis) plan you would share with readers? Would you share this post with others whom it may help?

Thank you for your support and friendship on my journey. It is a true blessing.

-Chris


Advertisements
 
 

Tags: , , ,

2 responses to “Support from Others During My Melancholia.

  1. morgueticiaatoms

    04/28/2015 at 10:54

    It’s a nice sentiment and I have tried talking to every friend and family member I have. NONE of them are willing to be supportive because they don’t believe mental illness is real. It’s unfortunate but at least I do blog and reach out to others in that way. I’m trying not isolate yet definitely taking me time when I need it, as well as when I think I am too volatile to be around others.
    I envy your support system but am glad you have it.

    Liked by 1 person

     
    • Surviving the Specter

      04/28/2015 at 11:03

      Thank you, Niki. It’s unfortunate that friends and family are unwilling or “unable” to stand by those effected. I can’t begin to imagine how discouraging it would feel – heaped upon what we already deal with. You are strong for continuing with your courage and transparency. You give hope to so many people.

      Like

       

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
Land of Oyr

Εpic Fantasy

Making Maps: DIY Cartography

Resources and Ideas for Making Maps

Astrographer

Gathering a Community of Worldbuilders

The Wild Heart of Life

"He was unheeded, happy, and near to the wild heart of life." ...James Joyce

Dyson's Dodecahedron

Award Winning Dungeon Design

Fantasy In Motion

Live by the pen, die by the sword...

The Cool Mama

Adventures in art and design

ars phantasia

reflections on fantasy cartography & game design

The World according to Dina

Notes on Seeing, Reading & Writing, Living & Loving in The North

Slay Girl Society

A website for people who want to thrive with positive mental health. Created by a woman with bipolar disorder.

Kristen Lamb

Author, Blogger, Social Media Jedi

flashlight batteries

Poetry: Emergency lighting for times of darkness and fear

SUMMER STARTS TO SHINE

PERFECTING THE ART OF CHANGING MY POST- TRAUMATIC SHIT INTO SPARKLE & SUNSHINE

Lucky Rabbit's Foot

... not so lucky for the rabbit!

Owning It

Claiming boyhood, staring down sexual abuse

Vitality

The Power Of Enduring

English-Language Thoughts

English-Language Thoughts

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple

Growing older is inevitable. Growing up is optional.

Sound Bite Fiction

where nothing is quite what it seems

Discover

A daily selection of the best content published on WordPress, collected for you by humans who love to read.

irevuo

art. popular since 10,000 BC

From the Darkness into the Sunshine

sexual abuse,survivor,healing,life as whole

The Cotswold Company Blog

Country Inspired Furniture

Lynn Thaler

Weird and Random Thoughts

Crown Print

a book blog

Speak Out Society

Speak up, even if your voice shakes.

ribbonrx

Raising Awareness About Life

autismthoughts

My experiences with autism, depression, and life

A Mental Health Blog by Al Levin

Men & Depression, Suicide Prevention & Awareness, Mental Illness Stigma, & Our Broken Mental Health System

tenacitytdotcom

PIECES OF ME...

Br Andrew's Muses

From head to pen - A great WordPress.com site

Anonymously Autistic

#ActuallyAutistic - An Aspie obsessed with writing. This site is intend to inspire through sharing stories & experiences. The opinions of the writers are their own. I am just an Autistic woman - NOT a medical professional.

thedrabble.wordpress.com/

Shortness of Breadth

Two Angels and a Black Dog

The journey of a single mum with bipolar

HarsH ReaLiTy

A Good Blog is Hard to Find

Fusion_Beats 👽

Scribbling the words floating in front, Fusion beats along a burning blunt. 👽

Truth Vindicator

Liberating truth and free thought with words of wisdom, wit and wonder

Soul Joy

Learning To Live A Life of Purpose to bring Joy to my Soul and Yours

Joys of Joel

The Poetry of My Life through My Writings and Journeys

Someday Tomorrow

On a journey to a happier place

%d bloggers like this: