10 Realities of My Depression Right Now [List]

24 Apr

I’ve found that lists help me identify what I’m experiencing. It clarifies the message that might otherwise be lost in a potentially 500-word post.

Here is what I’ve been experiencing with Specter today.


1.   I came home from work today and went to bed for two hours.

2.   I got up and watched a movie on the couch.

3.   But I felt like staying in bed.

4.   I washed the dishes in my sink from the past two days. I didn’t feel like it at all.

5.   I posted the lyrics/video that explain how I feel right now.

6.   I am shutting people out and driving them away. Especially the ones who love and care for me. I wish it weren’t that way but I just feel so overwhelmed. And…

7.   …I told them I just want to be alone. I don’t want to talk to anyone.

8.   I disconnected my doorbell so I wouldn’t be bothered.

9.   I’m a repeater… I’ve had “Will You Save Me?” on repeat for the past 30+ minutes. (see item #5)

10.  I’m drinking tea to try to relax. Apologies to my friends across the pond – I put sugar in it, not milk or lemon.

Thank you for reading and sharing this with someone who is struggling with the same things. Sometimes knowing you’re not alone is a tremendous help.


Posted by on 04/24/2015 in Depression, Suicide



4 responses to “10 Realities of My Depression Right Now [List]

  1. tresanne94

    04/26/2015 at 09:24

    Be hopeful. You’ll be surprised with what you can overcome.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. tresanne94

    04/26/2015 at 02:05

    I dont mean to pry, but you could try therapy. It really helped me during the years i was depressed. You can do so much more with your life. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Surviving the Specter

      04/26/2015 at 08:11

      I agree, tre’. I’ve slipped from going to therapy because of a high deductible plan I chose for insurance, and feeling like it’s been a worthless cause that’s been a waste of time. My girlfriend has reminded me of this to so I will try to pay down my bill and schedule an appointment. Thank you for your honesty.



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