NOTE TO READER: This post discusses my suicide attempt. If this is a trigger please do not read it. Thank you and may peace find you in the valley you are currently travelling.
What part of your crisis plan helps you the most?
A few months after I was released from the psychiatric unit, I revisited my attempted suicide with my friend who removed the belt from around my neck. She’s one of my angels from that night. Because of her quick response to my text telling her “I want to die tonight”, I am still alive.
Her name is Chelise.
She will always be a part of my story.
Since the one to two days after that night was a complete blackout for me (the bottle of sleeping pills was exiting my system), I asked her if she would fill in the gap from her point of view. This is an important part of my testimonial. She was gracious to email me her journal entry she wrote the night after I hanged myself.
As we were talking, we both came up with an addition to my crisis plan. She wrote a letter that I promised I would read when I felt Specter (the personification of my depression) crawling out of the shadows of my soul. Being a woman of faith, she also wrote a series of index cards with scripture on them.
This is my Envelope of Hope.