Do You Have an Envelope of Hope?

29 Mar

NOTE TO READER: This post discusses my suicide attempt. If this is a trigger please do not read it. Thank you and may peace find you in the valley you are currently travelling. 

What part of your crisis plan helps you the most?

A few months after I was released from the psychiatric unit, I revisited  my attempted suicide with my friend who removed the belt from around my neck. She’s one of my angels from that night. Because of her quick response to my text telling her “I want to die tonight”, I am still alive.

Her name is Chelise.

She will always be a part of my story.

Since the one to two days after that night was a complete blackout for me (the bottle of sleeping pills was exiting my system), I asked her if she would fill in the gap from her point of view. This is an important part of my testimonial. She was gracious to email me her journal entry she wrote the night after I hanged myself.

As we were talking, we both came up with an addition to my crisis plan. She wrote a letter that I promised I would read when I felt Specter (the personification of my depression) crawling out of the shadows of my soul. Being a woman of faith, she also wrote a series of index cards with scripture on them.

This is my Envelope of Hope.


What do you have in place that you use in your crisis plan?


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3 responses to “Do You Have an Envelope of Hope?

  1. mistakenldy

    04/08/2015 at 19:45

    Need to take this advice and put into action, yesterday. Thanks for the idea of hope and positivity. Definitely a necessity for us suicide surivivors.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. happygrumpymom

    03/29/2015 at 23:31

    That is an awesome idea for a plan. I’m so grateful that your friend was there for you. I guess my cognitive distortion worksheet is my best plan for that situation. Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Surviving the Specter

      03/30/2015 at 07:56

      Thank you, hgmom. Yes, I am fortunate she responded when she did. She told me that her phone was off the entire day and for some reason she turned it on right before I sent her my text.



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