Hi there. My name is Chris and I have lived with clinical depression since middle school. On the night of 9/14/14 I attempted to end my life but survived thanks to the quick actions of my close friends. This site is dedicated to both the topics of (clinical) depression and suicide awareness.
I wrote this poem in my journal around five years ago, and at a low-point in my marriage. My wife and I have since been separated for several years but this shows the stranglehold Specter had on me at the time.
The fourth verse was never finished but I wanted to publish what I had written is as, true to the day I wrote it. No changes.
For effect, I took my picture using the Zombie Booth app and used it here. I just now titled this piece, indicative of the way I felt when I wrote it.
I hope this makes others feel they are not alone in their valley. There are many other people in this world feeling what you are experiencing. Right now. At this very moment. Please hang onto that for hope, my friend.
May no one ever have to feel like this. May you find peace through the valley. I pray for your hope. Please reach out here if you feel full of despair. We look out for our own.
-Chris
magicallymad
03/23/2015 at 17:17
I identify with your naming your depression – I call my horrors the Cenobites from the Hellraiser series. I am a mother of 5 & relate with your poem quite a bit. Thank you for your words.
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Surviving the Specter
03/23/2015 at 17:25
Thank you for visiting and commenting, magically’! Yes, I know exactly what you’re talking about. I am quite a fan of that series, and WOW! to personify your horrors that way is amazing. I’m looking forward to perusing your site. Thank you for your courage to speak about your depression.
-Chris
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skeletonwithaspade
03/22/2015 at 19:29
Writing about depression, especially in poetry, is undeniably difficult. But wow, this is some really powerful stuff, very well written. Both reading and writing poetry can really help people cope sometimes. Thanks for publishing. You’re a great poet.
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Surviving the Specter
03/22/2015 at 19:39
Thank you SO much, skeleton’! Wow! That is very humbling of you. I have other posts with my poetry, too. There is a four-part series I did a little while back entitled, Specter, which is the personification of my clinical depression. Thank you for your support. I’m looking forward to perusing your blog as well.
-Chris
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skeletonwithaspade
03/22/2015 at 19:43
I’ll be sure to check it out! It’s amazing how some people can turn their suffering into wonderful art
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